Sweet misery
by Karinka-ten
Summary: Sakura's plans of becoming a little more independent are ruined when she is tricked into moving in with her exboyfriend who along their years apart lost his manners.LAST Chapter Up!
1. The little arrangement

AN/ Hi. Its been awhile since I've posted anything so here it goes. Hope everyone is having a happy new year.

Disclaimer: Don't own ccs nor the characters.

SWEET MISERY

Chapter 1

The little arrangement

"Come on Sakura!" Tomoyo repeated for the second time. Sakura never spoke about it. They had been best friends all their lives and she told Sakura everything. Sakura kept secrets many which frustrated her. It was unfair and Tomoyo had to pretend she didn't care. Sakura looked at her for a second.  
"Remind me, why I'm doing this again?" she asked letting her face descend into a cute frown. She tightened her fist and rolled her eyes. She felt like she was being forced to live with that _monster_. Monster was a little too harsh of a word but it was a close comparison. She couldn't stand looking at him, what made Tomoyo so certain that she could live with him. Sakura was certain about one thing-she would go crazy and would probably be forced to stay in a mental institution. She could just picture that smirk on his face. He barely smiled and always had smart comments that provoked her. It had been so long since they actually spoke. She barely knew anything about him. She wondered what kind of man he had become but was too scared to see.

They had a history together. There was a time when they were crazy about each other. They were once inseparable.  
"They make such a cute couple." People would say. They lived in their own world. No one could touch it. They told each other everything and vowed to stay together.  
"We were young and naïve. It was silly and childish." Sakura would reply whenever  
people asked about their separation. She could never find the right words. They would fake a smile and pretend to not care anymore. Sakura knew exactly what they were thinking. Their eyes said it 'poor girl, she looks like a mad dog. She's really not that special without him.'

"You don't have to talk to him, you just have to you know…live with him. There is a huge difference between the two. It's only a couple of months. You told your Dad you were moving out and this is the only accommodation I could find." Tomoyo's tone was calm. She was proud of the way she was able to tolerate Sakura's mood swings.  
"Easy for you to say. He's obnoxious and bigheaded." Sakura's tone grew softer "You don't understand the way he makes me feel. I could just cry." She loosened her fists and placed her hands on her lap.  
"Syaoran is a nice guy." Tomoyo was almost lost for words.  
"You don't have a history with him." Sakura muttered. "Can't I move in with you?" Her eyes glittered.  
Tomoyo quickly glanced at her before putting her eyes back on the road.  
"I and Eriol's apartment is small and it only has one room and…" she paused "The reason he moved in was to be with me. Three is a crowd." Tomoyo blushed.  
Sakura nodded to show _some_ understanding. "Do you guys share the bed?"  
Tomoyo parked in the driveway before she replied. "What kind of question is that?"  
Sakura grinned "A sensible one. Do you hear wedding bells ringing?"  
"Shut up." Tomoyo playfully replied. "Stop being such a smartass."

Sakura looked up at the building. It was no less that five stories and each apartment had a mini balcony. She unfastened her seat belt and opened the car door.  
"Oh look Sakura, Syaoran is home." Tomoyo said pointing at his car.  
"Great!" Sakura replied sarcastically.  
"I'm calling him. He can help us carry your luggage up. He lives-I mean you guys live on the 3rd floor."  
Sakura shot Tomoyo a disapproving look "That won't be necessary. We can do it ourselves. My stuff isn't that heavy."   
"Okay fine."  
They carried a couple of her things and made their way to the building.

"Well Sakura, we're here." Tomoyo said before placing her hand in her pocket and pulling out a set of keys. "These belong to you now."  
Sakura faked a smile and took them from her. Tomoyo knocked on the door twice before it opened.  
"Hi Tomoyo, you're earlier than I thought you would be. Come in." He insisted. His voice was warm and inviting-then he saw Sakura trail behind Tomoyo. Sakura did no say a word in fact she did not look at him. He looked at her and grinned. That grin meant so much as sinful thoughts crossed his mind. He scanned her from head to toe. Her big emerald eyes shone out at him. She had a distinct look on her face-half laughter, half disdain. He could tell she was faking it.

"Hello Sakura." His words raised her suspicions. You could never tell with him. It was as though he was many people.  
She looked up at him. He's chestnut hair was still messy. Ever since she told him that she thought it looked sexy years ago, he rarely combed it. He had a medium build and an emotionless face.   
Sakura looked at the apartment before replying "Hi" she did not look at him.  
Tomoyo settled her things on the floor.   
"I'll get the rest of your stuff. You stay here Sakura." Tomoyo said practically lashing out the door.

The second they were officially alone Sakura turned to look at him.  
"So where do I sleep."  
He slipped his hands in the pockets of his denim "You sleep on my bed in my room."  
Sakura was horrified. She wanted to burst into outrage but instead she calmly said "I'd prefer to sleep on rocks than with you." The words came out wrong.  
He beamed "I never mentioned anything about us sleeping together."  
Sakura blushed. The humiliation was too much to bear.  
"But if you insist then we can make some kind of arrangement." He said jokingly.  
"That's not funny. This was a bad idea." She confessed.  
He nodded "Okay. Listen Sakura-I'll behave myself, I promise" He forced a laugh.  
"You are such a pervert." She said.  
"Is that a bad thing?" He asked playfully.  
Sakura frowned and swallowed hard. She was falling into his trap.  
"I was only kidding." Syaoran said seriously "I'm sleeping in the other room. I gave you my room because it's much bigger. I thought you'd prefer that." He was enjoying this. The look on her face was priceless. The way he saw it, he was being a gentleman and she was being ungrateful.

Sakura chose not to say anything. Instead she walked into the bedroom. He followed her.  
"Why did you decide to suddenly leave home? I always thought you couldn't stand on your own two feet."  
"You always thought I couldn't do anything on my own."  
His vision did not flicker. 'I'm sorry.' He thought but every time he tried to say it, his words got tangled in his throat. He had said it too many times. One more sorry wouldn't make a difference.  
"Does your Father know about this little arrangement?" he asked knowing the answer.  
"My Father hates you. He has no clue. He thinks I'm living with Tomoyo."  
Syaoran shrugged "After that time he walked in on us making out in his car, I'm not surprised."  
"Don't remind me." Sakura pointed out in a stern tone "seriously."  
"Hey, calm down muffin face." He said lightly using the nickname he gave her when they were intimate.

"Don't call me that! I hate that stupid name!" her voice broke at the end of the sentence.  
Syaoran was quiet.  
"Don't remind me of us. I'm not happy about the idea of living with you. If I had my way things would have been completely different. I just want us to stay out of each others personal lives. I know you can't help it but try. I don't find you all that amusing."  
Syaoran had a plain expression on his face that didn't say much. He slightly nodded.  
She turned away. She heard his footstep leave the room.

The doorbell rang. Sakura ran to the door as Syaoran sat quietly in front of the TV.  
"You could have gotten it!" She complained.  
The look on his face and his actions did not change. Sakura opened the door and took a step out closing the door behind her.  
"You did this on purpose." She whispered grabbing Tomoyo's shoulders giving her a furious shake to match each word.  
"Sakura, why are you whispering?" Tomoyo asked trying to balance the boxes in her arms.  
"You and Eriol- I can't take it!" She folded her arms across her chest.

"Even if that statement is true, will you just be the bigger person and be nice to the guy for a change. It wasn't easy for him to agree to all this."  
Sakura held her breath and said calmly "It's a little too late for that. I've kinda already screwed up. I couldn't help it."  
Tomoyo heaved a sigh. "Just apologies."  
Sakura tilted her head on the side "I can't believe what you are asking me to do."  
Tomoyo looked at her wrist watch "I'll leave your things here. I'm late for an appointment. Tell him I said goodbye."  
"No…" Sakura said slowly.  
"Bye." Tomoyo quickly and cautiously placed Sakura's things down before rushing to the elevator.

Sakura did not want to go back in. For a second she wished that she could stay there forever and not have to face him. She felt like a small child hiding underneath the sheets from monsters. She grabbed the doorknob and twisted it. Slowly she pushed the door.  
He stood in front of her wearing a different shirt He had put some effort into looking presentable.  
"Tomoyo just left and-" Sakura played with her fingers.  
He grabbed a navy-blue coat from the coat hanger before cutting her off "I'm going out. Not sure when I'll be back."  
With that statement, he was gone.

Sakura spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking. The place wasn't too bad. It had a comfortable bed, a great amount of space and an exquisite view. That was all she needed. It was quiet and peaceful. She loved it. As the day went by and all her things were in their rightful place, anxiety set in. He was now gone for five hours. Many questions crossed her mind like 'where is he?', 'does he always do this?' 'Maybe I was a little too harsh' and 'Why the hell do I care.' She sat on the bed with one of her favorite novels and a box of pizza. She was a traditional kind of girl. Not often did she order fast food. She was kitchen bound. Unfortunately, Syaoran kept nothing in his refrigerator but junk food and other things that had already surpass their expiratory date. She looked at her watch again then shook her head. A part of her was dying to see him back home and another part of her didn't care.

When morning struck and the sun was high above the clouds, she slowly opened her eyes awakening from a deep slumber. The shutters on her windows were still closed, the bright daylight outside outlining each wooden slat. Inside a soft darkness hovered. It had been so long since she slept so peacefully. She slightly shifted her body when she felt something grabbing her exposed waist line. It was an arm-a man's arm. She was too afraid to look and see who it could possibly be. It shifted to her stomach in a slow and tender way. Sakura panicked. 'Oh gosh, don't let this be what I think it is." She didn't know whether to scream or quickly get out of bed and grab a baseball bat.

She slowly slid from his arm then turned to see who he was. The minute she saw those messy chestnut locks and that muscular jaw line, she held her breath trying not to scream. The sheets only covered a certain portion of his body exposing part of his torso and his boxer shorts. She sat up and managed to shift her feet. 'He started working out' she thought staring at his biceps.

"Sakura?" His voice almost gave her a heart attack. It was deep, lazy and heavy. The minute he spoke, time stood still.  
"What are you doing in my bed?"

**AN: Please review and give suggestions for chapter 2 if you have any.**


	2. Just another girl

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter.**

Disclaimer: Just for the record I don't own CCS clamp does though. 

Chapter 2  
Just another girl

  
Sakura swallowed hard as beads of sweat tumbled down her face. Her flawless face turned pale and for a minute she failed to blink. It was by far the most awkward situation she had ever found herself in.  
"What?" she asked as they gave each other a quick meaningful glance.  
As he sat up, Sakura slightly moved away. The closer he seemed to be getting to her, the further she shifted. He looked at her peculiarly and Sakura shifted again suddenly landing on the floor straight on her back.

"Whoa!!" she cried looking up at the ceiling.  
He walked up to her and knelt.  
"You okay?" he asked in a calm and comforting tone.  
Sakura struggled to sit up "I think so." her cheeks flushed coyly at the sight of his bare body.

"You're such a klutz, you never change." He beamed.  
"Huh?" Sakura looked at him and pulled her short night gown down embarrassed of the exposure her thighs were getting. "Shut up…what the heck are you doing here?"  
"Oh…right." He ran his fingers through his messy hair "I forgot. I guess I was drunk last night. Just lock your door next time."  
"They're be a next time?" Sakura gasped.  
"Um…yeah. You don't really think I'll stop enjoying myself just because you live here, do you?"  
Sakura folded her arms "No." she simply replied  
He stood up "I'm starving." He paused "Don't worry; I'm trying my best not to look."  
Sakura glanced at him humiliated. Her lips were slightly apart leaving a tiny gap in between. He gave her a boyish grin then walked away. That grin and the look in his eyes could have meant anything. She was too embarrassed to talk. Usually she would put more effort into having the last word.

His clothes were scattered on the carpet as though he ripped them straight off his body and tossed them aggressively. She grabbed her robe and muttered.   
"This is a little too much for me." She heaved a sigh and thought "I hope he's not expecting me to pick up his clothes."

Her conscience then reminded her of all the things he put her through and she, as usual was letting him manipulate her. The minute it hit she dashed out of the room and followed him to the kitchen.  
"Syaoran, that was a violation of privacy. That was not part of the agreement…." She growled. It was only a matter of seconds when she realized that he was still in his boxer shorts.  
"Yeah, I hear you." He replied in a hoarse tone. "Don't you just hate hangovers?"  
Sakura blinked then turned away. Her cheeks turned red.  
"Last night was something." He said briefly while opening the refrigerator. He turned away from her and leaned over. This time Sakura couldn't help but stare at his back side. She swallowed and cleared her throat.  
"I don't appreciate you coming in my room in the middle of the night."  
He took out a jar of milk and poured it into a bowl while nodding his head to show that he was listening and not just being arrogant.  
"You can be such a pervert!"  
"Why are you always complaining?" He asked in a less friendly manner.  
Sakura relaxed her shoulders" I can't believe you. You invade my privacy and you still have the nerve to ask me why I'm complaining. You think everything is a joke."  
Syaoran sat on a chair "apparently you don't." his tone was serious and he did not look at her. There was something in her eyes that made him terrified.  
Sakura taped her foot in aggravation and wrinkled up her face "It's hard to talk to you when you're loaming around half naked."  
"I'm glad you noticed. Just so you know, I always walk around half naked."  
Sakura pretended to smile "Is that so?"  
He looked up at her for a second "Sakura, if you walked around half naked, I wouldn't complain." He grinned.   
Sakura gave him what she called 'the look' then walked away. She into crawled into her room almost ready to cry. Gradually she shut the door. It was almost unbelievable how much they hated each other. They were like complete strangers who did not speak the same language. She knew that they had drifted apart and being around him only brought back old memories. Some were happy memories but most of them were sad and they reminded her of her lonely her heart was. That was not what killed her though. The look on his face; he had completely left her behind. She wanted him to feel pain even after all these years. His pain would be her pleasure. She wanted him to spend sleepless nights crying just like she did right after he broke her heart.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..  
Later that morning Sakura meet up with Tomoyo at a nearby diner. They sat behind a small round table close to the window.  
"So what did he do wrong this time?" Tomoyo asked.  
Sakura took a sip of her coffee as a blank expression appeared on her face. She bit her lips and replied "Well he slept with me and walked around half naked the rest of the morning"  
Tomoyo's eyebrows rose in surprise "Wow. That was fast; I thought you two would take things a little more slowly."  
Sakura giggled "No, he was drunk and forgot I moved in so he slept on my bed. I was furious but he took me lightly." Then her expression shifted to uncertainty. He walks around in his boxers all morning despite what I say. He just won't listen to me." She said, sounding miserable. Her lower lip trembled.  
_Don't cry!_ Tomoyo wanted to shout out to her.  
She didn't need to say it. Right in front of her eyes, Sakura seemed to pull herself together. Anger zinged through her giving her a little glow.  
"Is he doing all this on purpose?"  
"I don't know Tomoyo but I think I'm loosing it." Sakura said softly.  
Tomoyo looked at Sakura with sadness in her eyes. The guilt was catching up with her. Sakura was miserable and it was all her fault. She began to have second thoughts 'Maybe this was really a bad Idea. We were trying too hard to push something that just won't move.' She leaned her arm on the table and extended her other arm in order to touch Sakura's.  
"I'm so sorry. I just thought that maybe you two would sought things out. I hate seeing you so sad." She paused and cleared her throat. "Eriol and I had it all planned. The minute you two saw each other again you would fall in love…again."  
Sakura looked up at Tomoyo "I kind of figured."  
"I just think you need romance in your life. You remember; passion, obsession and desire."  
Sakura exhale noisily as Tomoyo brightened.  
"Wait I've got an Idea." She smiled sitting back.  
Sakura smiled back "You're going to let me move in with you?" she said cheerfully.  
"Um…" Tomoyo hesitated "I kind of had something else in mind. What if I hooked you up with someone? You need it. Those puffy eyes and that broken smile say it all."  
Tomoyo was one person Sakura looked up to. Everything about her was divine. She had pale skin and long dark hair. She looked like she belonged in a fairytale. Sakura slightly smiled not so keen about the idea.  
"Haven't you tried that before?"  
"Didn't try hard enough. I know this really sweet guy, he's adorable."  
Sakura smirked.  
"Besides." Tomoyo went on "It's only fair that you start dating. Syaoran has been on the dating scene for quiet awhile."  
Sakura tried not to look interested. She simply played with her finger and fidgeted with her hair. "Dating scene, huh."  
"Yep! In fact he's seeing someone, I mean certain women."  
Sakura bit her lower lip "He doesn't waist time does he." She pointed out with bitter sarcasm.  
"I've been so busy obsessing over you and Syaoran as a couple that it never hit me. Are you fine with it?"  
Sakura forced a smile "Yes."  
Tomoyo breathed a sigh of relief.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Sakura's POV**

The rest of the day was quiet. I had spent part of it looking for the key to my room. I drew in conclusion that it did not exist. As I walked from one room to another, I noticed that the door to Syaoran's room was slightly open. It was as though it was begging me to go in. I stood there for a minute before pondering my next move. I bit my finger nail telling myself to stay away but my hands and feet had a mind of their own. I moved slowly into the room. It was dark and a feeling of loneliness and sadness hovered in the atmosphere. Everything seemed untouched and unnoticed. It was not too small but for some reason I felt belittled in it. His bed was unmade- 'He didn't even sleep on it' I thought. The rest of the room was tidy. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. I quickly marched out of the room leaving the door as I found it. I walked up to the front door quickly tidying up my hair. When I opened it, a young woman in very tight fitting clothes stood before me. That was the first thing that caught my eye.

She was captivating you could immediately tell that she was naturally beautiful. Her skin was like porcelain and she had the most piercing blue eyes. She was slender and well toned. A strange look passed over her face before she spoke to me.  
"Who are you?" she was rude with a fake British accent. Her personality was exposed in those three small words.  
"Hi." I replied not quiet sure of what to say.  
She rolled her eyes then pushed me aside "Where is Syaoran?"  
I blinked noticing the butterfly tattoo on her neck. "He's not here, maybe-"  
"Do you live here?" she cut me off. Her questions were sticking and emphasized nothing more that suspicion.  
"Err….yeah. I'm Sakura." I said politely.  
She froze as though someone had given her unexpected bad new. She was quiet probably plotting her next move. There was no telling what a girl like her could possibly be thinking.  
"The Sakura?" she asked widening her eyes. "The ex-girlfriend?"

"Oh so he told you about me." I couldn't believe it.  
"As a matter of fact, yes. I'm Rei-his girlfriend. He never mentioned that you two were living together. That jerk!" She growled cursing beneath her breath.  
"Maybe you should be talking to him instead." I insisted.  
She rolled her eyes again. "Fine; I'll wait for him."  
I faked a smile. I often found myself pretending to have an abundance of affection. "Sakura, you're just too nice. People take advantage of that you know." Tomoyo would say. It was not like me to immediately dislike a person. I could simply tell her to go away or go wait for him somewhere else but that would be out of my character.  
"Should I get you something to drink?"

She sprawled on couch and opened her bag. "I'm on a diet. My agent says I should watch my weight. Dieting is such a pain in the arse."  
"Agent?"  
"I'm a model." She bragged. "And you?"  
"I'm a photographer." I said sitting on the opposite couch.  
"That's so wicked. That means you can take pictures of me."  
I faked another smile.

There was an awkward silence before she said "He only talked about you once but I've got a really good memory. He said you were just another girl."  
"And why are you telling me this?"  
"In case of an emergency and I don't want you to get too excited." She giggled.  
"It wasn't necessary." I told her mildly though I was agitated to say the least.  
"Maybe it wasn't but Syaoran is a great guy. He's quiet a catch, wouldn't you agree." She winked. This time I didn't smile. I looked at her with a plain look on my face. I didn't want her to see that she was getting to me.

The door opened and Syaoran walked in with grocery bags in his hands. Rei turned around. Her eyes glowed and sparked with joy.  
"Syaoran!" she said happily.  
"Rei;" He said in a less eager manner. "I could use a little help."  
Rei looked at me "Sakura, you heard him."  
I stood up furiously and carried two bags from his arms. For a second his arm stroked mine. A cloud gathered in his amber orbs. It was an expression I had seen before.  
"Thanks." He said weary. "Rei what are you doing here? Our date isn't until eight."  
"I thought I'd surprise you but I guess I'm the one who got the big surprise." Her tone was sweet and sincere in contrast to the tone she used on me.  
Syaoran put the bag of groceries on a table nearby.  
"I was going to tell you this evening. I just didn't know how you would take it."  
She smiled and walked up to him "I'm okay with it, seriously."  
I stood in the background watching. They acted as though I was not there. I couldn't believe Syaoran was so imperceptive that he would fall for that artificial stuff. It was obvious he was no longer my type. We had become two different people. Realizing that wasn't painful. I knew it would happen, it was inevitable. She put her arms around his neck and planted a wet kiss on his cheek. I looked away the minute I saw him glancing at me. He looked uncomfortable and embarrassed. I should have just left the room.

All of a sudden her phone rang.  
"Oh that's mine." She said opening her bag "I'll take it in your room."  
As she walked away he purposely coughed. I figured that it was his way of breaking the ice.  
"No need for introductions, right?" he said, scanning my face for some sign of reaction.  
I looked at him bluntly "Yeah."  
"I was going to tell her, honest. I just wasn't sure if-"  
"You don't owe me any explanation."  
He tucked his hands into the pockets of his denim "So I did a little shopping, I know how much you love to cook. I personally rather eat out. I guess I'm just too lazy."  
I nodded. That's all I could do around him. I was afraid to smile nevertheless show any signs of contentment or fulfillment.  
…………………………………………  
** AN/ Sorry for not making this chapter horribly romantic since Valentines Day is around the corner just keep in mind that eventually it will get all fuzzy and cute.  
R&R plz. I'll try update ASAP.**


	3. Straight Jacket feeling

**AN: I finally came around with this chapter straight jacket feeling. I got the title from one of my favorite songs from the All-American-Rejects. It made sense. Hope you enjoy it:) **

Disclaimer: I don't own card captor Sakura

Chapter 3

STRAIGT JACKET FEELING 

(Normal POV)

Syaoran sank himself in the navy blue armchair right across a coffee table. The remote control lay dead in his hand as images flashed from the TV screen. There was something gratifying about doing absolutely nothing. He often found himself wondering. He wondered how a guy such as himself would have so little to do with his life. He wondered why he chose to stay and sometimes he would wonder what Sakura was doing. Often she would stay in her room for hours and only come out when she needed something to eat. There was never much for them to say. Every now and then they would utter a swift "excuse me", "thank you" and "please pass the-" anything else would only strengthen the tension between them.

At one point it felt as though things were not going to change. They lived in two separate worlds. Eventually their worlds would to collide. It was inevitable. One calm night; Syaoran lay half asleep on his bed. He couldn't remember the last time he slept in tranquility. He shifted a few times before there was a sudden knock on his door. He walked steadily across the darkened room pulling up his boxer shorts along the way.  
"What's wrong?" he asked before opening the door and noticing confusion in Sakura's eyes. Her face was pale with drops of water. Her hair was wet and unruly and her clothes were dripping with water. "What happened to you?"  
"I think I messed up."  
He quickly studied her expression. She looked fragile and tentative.  
She gasped "There was something wrong with pipe…in the kitchen." She hesitated "I was trying to fix it, now there is water everywhere."  
Syaoran raised his eyebrows intrigued "You what?"  
"I'm sorry." she said sincerely in a half whisper.  
"Why didn't you call me earlier?"  
Sakura was rigid and silent. She then lightly brushed her hair back before replying "I just thought I could fix it and besides we don't actually communicate." She confessed.  
"Don't move. Let me put on something."  
Sakura turned around. She could hear the sound of his footsteps on the count of the wood made a squeaky sound every time he moved. She looked longingly at her feet as though looking for a sign. It seemed like the only way of hiding her embarrassment. What was his expression? Endurance and tolerance; that was all she could hope for, nothing more complimentary.  
"Are you mad at me?" Syaoran asked pulling up a pair of tracksuit pants above his knees.  
Sakura held her head up "No Syaoran…I was."  
Syaoran was surprised to hear his name come from her lips. It was the way she said it that gave him goose bumps. He put on a grey t-shirt.  
"I'm glad."  
This had become the secret way of saying sorry. All the strings between were broken. He felt as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He walked up to her.  
"Show me the mess you made."  
As he followed her out of the room he felt water touch the heel of his feet. It was everywhere excluding the bathroom and their bedrooms. They walked into the kitchen where Sakura pointed at the sink.  
"It's worse than I thought."  
"I'm really sorry. If you want me to move out I'll be gone tomorrow morning."  
Syaoran looked at her "Don't; you're not going anywhere. We can fix this." He assured her. "I'm just going to fix the pipes." His tone was calm and confidence. It reminded her of the boy she once fell in love with.  
Sakura stood back as he walked up to the sink. A swirl of water swept across the kitchen. Syaoran had a delicious feeling that he was in control.

An hour later the pipe was fixed but there was still water everywhere. Sakura grabbed a mop and a bucket from a corner.  
"This is going to be one long night." Syaoran said looking around.  
Sakura soaked the mop in the puddle of water "I barely sleep anyway."  
He paused "Me too…It's irritating."  
"I've tried everything- sleeping pills, counting sheep…"  
"Having late-night snacks." He added.  
"How did you know?"  
"I see the kitchen light come on every night." He said with what appeared to be a half smile.  
There was a string of silence that didn't last for long. Sakura turned to him and sighed "Why are you letting me stay."  
He stopped mopping "Well you and I dated for nearly a decade, it was the least I could do. I still…"he choked on his words "It was the right thing to do."  
Sakura smiled embracing the moment. "Thank you."  
He mopped the floor and replied "sure, don't mention it."  
Sakura carried on mopping.  
"You know…" he suddenly begun "Rei wanted me to kick you out."  
Sakura nodded as though she was not staggered.  
"Don't take her too seriously." He said scornfully "I don't."  
Sakura made a face that didn't go unnoticed "That's mean. I thought you too had something going on."  
"When I first met her she was cool. She was a pretty girl, flirtatious, funny and all that. Everything was great until she found out that I was an heir and since then she's been clingy. She won't stop touching me and calling me." Syaoran admitted.  
Sakura giggled. She was in a way relieved to know that he also thought she was crazy.  
He wiped the sweat from his forehead and sighed "Sakura, you really are and accident waiting to happen." He teased.  
Sakura grinned "You _are_ an accident."  
"Ouch…that was cold." He said still smiling. "You're learning more from me everyday."  
"You mean in terms being cruel and insensitive."  
Syaoran laughed "exactly."  
…………………………………………………………………………………….

Eriol visited early the next morning. He was playing the role of mail man delivering some documents to Syaoran. He was not planning on staying for long but he had questions. He gave Syaoran a peculiar smirk that made Syaoran heave a sigh.  
"So what is it?" he asked.  
Eriol rose one of his eyebrows divulging his curiosity "So are you two getting along?"  
"Everything is fine."  
"Are you sure?" Eriol was obviously stunned.  
Syaoran nodded and replied firmly "yes."  
Eriol looked at his wrist watch "I've got to go; I'll be late for work. Where's Sakura anyway?"  
"Showering I guess."

Abruptly they heard Sakura scream Syaoran's name in agitation. The look on Syaoran's face changed more quickly than he could move. He looked at Eriol with an element of fear in his amber orbs.  
"What's wrong?" he yelled back with uncertainty.  
Sakura walked in wearing a baby blue bath robe. She marched up to him putting her face up close to his "You left the bathroom in a mess again!" she yelled her breath making warm, wet spots on his cheek.  
"What are you making such a fuss about this time?" he attacked back.  
"You left wet towels on the bathroom floor, your clothes are also on the floor, the toilet seat is up and there is hair everywhere- in the sink and the soap." She curled her lip.  
Syaoran took a step back and replied "So?"  
"Do you really expect…" Sakura's word trailed off when she realized that Eriol was there. Her cheeks turned red as she cleared her throat. She looked at him and kindly smiled.  
"Hi Eriol." She said softly.  
He smiled back being the gentleman he was "Hello Sakura."  
"When…when did you…you get here?" she hesitated.  
"Just now. Don't worry about me, carry on…let that anger out." He teased.  
Sakura looked at Syaoran then back at Eriol "No…I'll be late for work." Slowly she walked away.  
Eriol gave Syaoran a look "I thought you said everything was fine?"  
Syaoran turned away from him "We're talking that's all that matters right now."  
"Right." He said derisively.  
………………………………………………………………………………………

**Later that morning**

Sakura rushed through crowds of busy people. She left the apartment as soon as she realized that she was 20 minutes late. She worked at a photos studio a few blocks from the apartment. As she rushed past the flower shop her cell phone rang. She stopped to answer it.  
"Hi are you at work yet?" Tomoyo asked.  
Sakura started walking quickly again.  
"Hi"  
"How are things with Syaoran?"  
Sakura saw that question coming.  
"Everything is fine, we're talking again." Sakura said unwilling to mention that they were still arguing.  
"Good that means all four of us can hangout."  
"Tomoyo I can't hear you!" she yelled.  
"You, Syaoran, Eriol ..."  
"Sure." Sakura replied unaware of what she was saying.  
Tomoyo jumped on the line "That's great! You had me worried there."  
Sakura sighed "Listen I'm on my way to work."  
"Wait, don't hang up yet. That guy I was telling you about, he wants to meet you. Come over at lunch, he works here."  
"Sure." Sakura said briskly. Suddenly she screamed.  
"Sakura what's wrong!" Tomoyo yelled.  
"Some guy just spilled coffee on me!" Sakura exclaimed "I'll call you later." She said hanging up.

"I'm sorry." The man apologized.  
Sakura looked up and her mouth went dry. She paused and she couldn't move. The minute she looked into his eyes she was nervous and sweating. He was blonde with catlike eyes. He was tall, strong jaw line; he was incredibly handsome. She flushed coyly as he stared back at her. It was a strange and sudden turnout of things.  
"No it's fine." She replied "I don't mind having hot coffee on my shirt." She said lightly.  
He giggled and run his fingers through his perfect hair. Sakura bit her lower lip letting out a silent moan.  
"Don't get the wrong impression. I don't go around spilling coffee on people." He seemed as caught up as she was. He gave a comprehensive sweep of the hand that took in her clothes, shoes, hairstyle, and make-up. The attraction between then was visible. Sakura released a short giggle.  
"Do you want to grab some coffee- I mean something other than coffee?"  
Sakura was uncertain whether to smile again.  
"I don't know." She paused then thought about "Sure…but I'm late for work, can we do this some other time…."  
"Ryusuke." He replied with a glimmer in his eyes.  
"I'm Sakura." Sakura let her hand out for a handshake. He firmly grabbed her hand not wanting to let go. She didn't want him to. She forcefully released her hand then looked at her watch. She was now 40 minutes late. It was all Syaoran's fault; if he had bothered to clean after himself she wouldn't have spent 15 minutes forcing him to. 'What a pig' she thought visualizing the expression on his face when she was shouting at him- carefree. She blinked pulling herself back to reality.  
"Maybe lunch." He insisted.  
Sakura blushed "Lunch is good." She thought she sounded quiet witty.

From then on time seemed to fly. Though her boss was mad, Sakura didn't care. She could not stop thinking about 'what's-his-name'; she barely heard a word he said. All that she could do at the time was stare at his beautiful face. He was like a Greek god lost in time. He was flawless and polite. "I wonder what he does for a living- he must be an actor. Maybe I should have flirted a little longer. I wonder where he is from." She thought.

Their lunch date was short but it went smoothly as she anticipated. He was funny, successful and once again beautiful. Everything went so well that the mad reservations for a date that evening.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sakura had been in her room for almost two hours. In those two hours Syaoran had read through four documents and still had time to slide in a drink or two. Eventually his ability to concentrate grew less. He saved his work and sat back, rubbing his eyes. He got up stiffly ready to call it a day. As he strolled to his room he walked past Sakura's room where the door was wide open. He leaned on the side as a puzzled look passed his face.  
"What are you doing?"  
Sakura nearly jumped. She turned around to look at him, subsequently she turned away. She walked up to the mirror to quickly brush her hair. Syaoran watched feeling slightly intimidated.  
"I'm going out." She finally spoke.  
"Out where?"  
She smirked "On a date." It felt so liberating to say it to his face. She looked at him but to her surprise, he had a blank uninterested look on his face.  
"Congratulations." He said in an unconvincing manner.  
Sakura walked up to him "So what do you think?"  
"Think of what?"  
"My dress?" she asked turning around. It was a black dress that went above her knees and exposed her toned shoulders.  
"You're wearing that?" his face wrinkled.  
Sakura's eyes widened "Why, is there something wrong with it?"  
Syaoran relaxed his shoulders "No it's…it's fine. I never said there was anything wrong."  
"You didn't have to." Sakura said sadly "that look on you face says it all. Be honest Syaoran."  
He folded his arms across his chest "Okay, I'll be as nice as possible about it."  
"Well." Sakura asked in desperation.  
"You look like a slut." Syaoran said with intensity.  
Sakura's face melted "a…slu…" she paused "You're lying."  
"Fine, don't believe me but if I was going on a date with you I'd think you were easy."  
"I don't care about your opinion." She growled.  
Syaoran raised his eyebrows and nodded "I think I'll go see what is on TV."   
His motives were anything but pure. He was willing to lie in order to ruin her date. The truth was she looked beautiful. She always did. Her dress was not too short he just couldn't stand the idea of another man looking at the slightest exposure of her thighs.

A few minutes later as Syaoran sat on the couch Sakura walked into the living room and stood in front of him. She was now wearing a pair of denim, with a baby pink jacket and a pair stilettos. Her hair was loose and wavy. If Syaoran wasn't the proud person he was he would have told her how attractive she looked.  
"You're blocking me." He said pretending not to care.  
She slightly moved.  
"What do you know; you do care about my opinion after all."  
"That dress had a dirty spot." She lied not much to her surprise he didn't believe her.  
Sakura took out her lip gloss then dropped it. She bent down to pick it up and for those few seconds Syaoran sat up and stared at her ass. As Sakura stood up he looked away.  
"So who is this guy?" Syaoran asked trying put himself together.  
"His name is Ryusuke." She said proudly.  
"What kind of name is that?" he teased.  
Sakura rolled her eyes "A decent name for a decent man. He is polite, handsome and most of all sensitive."  
Syaoran sat back "So where did you meet Mr. decent."  
"We met on the street, right outside this apartment this morning."  
Syaoran's jaw dropped "You mean to tell me you're going out with a complete stranger. How do you know he's not a stalker or some psycho…Sakura you are so naïve."  
"Even if he is, I wouldn't mind. He's just too gorgeous." She said with a dreamy look on her face.  
Syaoran shook his head. "Why don't you sit down?"  
"I'm nervous. I can't sit when I'm nervous." She said excited.  
"Since when?"  
She took a deep breath "Since now."

Syaoran couldn't explain it but he suddenly felt like something was being taken away from him. All the security he had disappeared. He dreaded feeling the way he did but he couldn't help it. His expression was a mixture of emotions disbelief the main ingredient. It was hard for him to confess it to himself but…he was jealous.

**A/N: R&R PLZ**


	4. Truth of my youth

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS it's owned by clamp.

**Chapter 4**  
TRUTH OF MY YOUTH

(Syaoran's POV)

The truth had brought so much pain. Ninety percent of my existence, I did not understand myself. I'd look back at the past and try to explain to myself why I didn't put up a fight. She had all the right to hate me for it. What didn't make sense this time, was why I was feeling left behind. I felt as though I had just lost something precious and a sense of emptiness sheltered my heart. I had been on the computer for two hours. I was trying to avoid going to bed or being alone with my thoughts. I didn't want to think about her but despite my attempts, I couldn't stop. I was disgusted with myself. After everything I put Sakura through, I had thoughts of ruining her chances of happiness with another man. A part of me wanted to be the only man able to give her happiness. It was selfish, I know, but the thought of him touching her, holding her and…probably kissing her drove me crazy. This was the closest I had ever been to complete insanity. I wish she was home even if she was busy hating me or yelling at me. I would somehow feel better.

She left in such a hurry. She made sure he stayed outside the apartment. She perhaps didn't want him to meet me or see me. She thought of me as a threat to her so called 'independence'. I looked at the watch from across the room. Any minute from now she will walk in with tears in her eyes. She'll seek comfort in my arms. I'll lightly stroke her hair and pull her closer. I'll embrace her and wipe the tears from her eyes…just like old times. I took a deep breath realizing how pathetic I was being. I was not certain of many things but one thing I was sure of was that I would never get over the past. Our memories were meant to last for an eternity.

(Flashback)

I slowly opened her bedroom door. She stood in front of the mirror as beautiful as ever. She didn't notice me walk in. I crept behind her. I grabbed her slender waist and rested my head on her soft shoulder. She smiled then looked back at the mirror.  
"You have no patience Syao." She said.  
I softly kissed her neck "You were taking too long. Why do you always keep me waiting when you know that it kills me?"  
She let out a giggle "I have to make a good impression on your mother"  
I held her even tighter. "You always look good."  
I took in the smell of her perfume while allowing my hands to play with hers. She turned around and passionately kissed my mouth. Waves of sensation tumbled down my spine. She wrapped her hands around my neck. I could hear her heart beat on my chest. We shared the same heart beat. We parted for a second before kissing again.  
"Syao…" She moaned in between each kiss.  
"Yeah?"  
"We can't do this now. We'll be late for…" she moaned before finishing "the party."  
I finally surrendered to her request. She released her arms from my neck.  
"I think you ruined my makeup."  
I walked up to her bed and sat at the edge.  
"Sakura, lets not go."  
She moved closer to me "Why are you suddenly changing your mind?"  
"I know how my mothers' parties are like…in fact I know how my mother is like."  
She looked surprise. I figured I owed her an explanation.  
"I really want her to like me."  
"Everyone likes you." I smiled  
"Syaoran, you've been keeping me away from your mother as far as I can remember. Why? Don't you think she'll like me?" She sat next to me. I studied her expression. I knew I would never forget that look in her eyes.  
"My mother is stubborn, even if she does like you she won't accept the idea of us as a couple. That's just the way she is."  
She looked at me with intensity "I wish you told me earlier…"  
"I'm sorry. It's a stupid party anyway. I just want to be with you, no one else matters." I touched her hand and gently caressed it. She looked so disappointed. I shifted closer to her allowing her head to rest on my shoulders.  
"If you still want to go Sakura…we can."  
She smiled and held unto my hand. "No it's okay"  
I looked into her eyes. They were in many ways intriguing. She rubbed her nose against mine.   
"We can stay here, in my room."

Her room had become our own secret place far away from all the noise and all the people. When she grabbed my hand I felt safe and home. We were both convinced that this is where we wanted to be. We only had each other. That was all we needed to immune ourselves from loneliness.  
"Can I tell you a secret?"  
She nodded like a small innocent child.  
"I don't want to back home. I'm not afraid but sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. Everyone is expecting so much from me. They mistake me for someone I'm not. When I'm there everything I know disappears; even you Sakura. I can't stand that. I feel like I'm imprisoned. The only time I really know myself is when I'm with you."  
She kissed me on the cheek "I wish I could do something."  
I looked at her gorgeous face then held it in my arms "Don't leave me. Stay with me all night."  
Her emerald eyes sparkled astonishingly. "I will. I promise."  
I gently released her then looked around her room "I never noticed how much stuffed animals you have. Don't they freak you out?"  
"You really don't get it." She chuckled.

I caressed her cheek. I always had the urge to touch her.  
"I've got an idea lets have a slumber party."  
I pulled a face that made her laugh.  
"I know what you're thinking. Make up, pillow fights and all that girly stuff." She moved behind me and gently nibbled on my ear. I felt goose bumps invade my skin.  
"That was just about it."  
I could feel her smile.  
"You're way off…all we do at this slumber party is…" she whispered "make out."  
"I like the sound of that….."  
………………………………………………………………………………………………  
(Normal POV)

Syaoran slowly opened his eyes. His vision was blurry at first. He could tell that it was Sakura. He closed his eyes again thinking he was dreaming. He rubbed them then opened them again.  
"Hi." She greeted with simplicity.  
He sat up and looked around. He had fallen asleep on the chair with his head leaning on the keyboard. He looked at her again and felt nervous. He was relieved to see her. That was all it took for him to feel somewhat normal again.  
"When did you get back?" He asked in a hoarse tone.  
She sat on the table "Just now?"  
His eyes wondered in a speculating manner "Were you watching me sleep?"  
Sakura faintly smiled slightly tilting her head "Not really. I heard you call my name."  
"That's impossible because I fell asleep."  
"No…I clearly heard you say my name as I was walking to my room."  
He laughed nervously and sat up. "What…what did you exactly hear?"  
"You went oh Sakura."  
He folded his arms and thought "Oh crap, I'm busted." He cleared his throat before releasing the next question.  
"What kind of…oh?"  
"It was a moan. You were like oooooooh Sakura."  
He had to think of something and fast.  
"Um…you must have been hearing things."  
The truth would have sounded like this 'Sakura I just can't stop thinking about you and us. It's driving me crazy. Though it hurts when I think about you I somehow feel better when you're around. Please don't go out with him again. I need you more than he does."  
Sakura looked at him with uncertainty "Maybe you were talking in you're sleep."  
"I don't talk in my sleep." He lied.  
"How do know?"  
Syaoran sighed "I know because- I just know. Will drop the topic already."  
"Were you dreaming about me?" She sounded more irritated than amused.  
A blush of shame crept up his face. He wanted to crawl under the table and never come out. He avoided her eyes as he attempted on fixing another flaw with one of his influential lies.  
"No…are you crazy?"  
She smiled affectionately and to his disbelief, believed every lie he fed her. She was naïve to his unfair advantage.  
"It's not really any of your business but I just thought you should know that Ryu is actually the guy Tomoyo wanted to hook me up with." She blushed "Isn't that just weird. He's not a complete stranger after all."  
Syaoran nodded. He knew what her true intentions were and what those words really meant. They meant she was going to see him again. She liked him a lot and throughout their conversation she was thinking about him. It explained her coyness and her pink cheeks. She referred to him as Ryu and not Ryusuke- she, in one day developed a familiarity with him. When they were an item she called him Syao. He loved the way she used to say it. He would never let anyone else call him that.

"That's nice." He said artificially.  
"You look tired…beaten up. Maybe you should go to sleep. It's nearly 1:00"  
He sat back "I'll try."  
"I can cook you something if you're hungry. I'm a mean cook you'll feel better."  
He just wanted to give something back- maybe a kind a word.  
"I'm fine. I'll just go to sleep."  
She nodded her head and stepped off the table. "Good night."  
"Good night."

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

Wednesday evening started like any other evening. Sakura was looking forward to watching television and trying out her new recipe. She decided to do it all after a short shower. She felt like it was required after a long hard day. She wished she had the courage to quit and pursue something that would do a little more for her career. While all her friends were strengthening their careers; hers seemed to be heading downhill.

She stepped into the shower closing the shower curtain. To her surprise, the tap was already on. Without putting too much thought to it, she stood under the shower letting the hot water run all over her. There was something magical about taking a shower at the end of the day. She felt as thought everything that was negative and hurtful was being washed away.

Meanwhile Syaoran had the same idea in mind. A soothing shower was all he needed to feel better. He walked steadily from his room into the corridors. Sakura's room was closed-as usual. "I wonder what she does in there." He asked himself before quickly ignoring the thought. He opened the bath room door, took a step in then closed it. There was steam everywhere. He exhaled in order to release the stress. He took off his towel and tossed it on the towel rail. He opened the shower curtain and suddenly paused. His eyes widened and time stood still. He couldn't help extending his glare. She stared back at him not knowing what to do. Suddenly she screamed and he immediately closed the curtain and grabbed his towel.  
"I'm sorry Sakura!" he said as a blush of shame crept up his face. He didn't know whether to run out or apologies again.  
"It…was…an accident." he swallowed hard and bit his lip.  
"Go away!" Sakura yelled. He could imagine the rage in her eyes.

He stood in his room with the towel still wrapped around his waist. He tried to erase the image he just witnessed. The picture of her thighs and her figure that screamed perfection; and that was not even the icing on the cake. It was wrong and he knew it. Sakura would not believe him. She would hate him even more. There was an aggressive knock on his. It was her. He walked back and forth in panic before opening it. Sakura was standing before him in her bathrobe. Her hair was still wet. Drops of water dripped on her shoulders.  
"Why would you do that Syaoran?" She asked in a calm and unexpected tone.  
Syaoran felt like a victim of an unfortunate event. He knew that one day he'll look back at it and be glad that he accidentally walked in on her but now he just wanted to justify himself and prove to her that he is not what she believes he is.  
"Didn't you find the tap on?"  
She looked up at him "What's your point."  
"I turned the tap on because I was going to shower."  
Sakura was not convinced. He could tell that she was trying to stay calm.  
"Since I came here you've pretty much invaded my privacy. My bedroom doesn't have a key, the bathroom doesn't either. Now you've crossed the line. Do you know how embarrassed I am."  
"So am I. You are not the only one who has been exposed." He wanted to remind her that he was naked too in the hopes that it will equal their humiliation.  
"I don't know what to believe anymore. Sometimes I think you do this on purpose."  
"Come on Sakura. I thought you knew me better that. Why the heck would I attempt something so…so perverse." He said in a harsher tone.  
"I don't know Syaoran. I'm not sure of the person you are. Maybe you are not over the fact that…" she paused. She wanted to think a little more before saying something that would completely jeopardize their familiarity.  
"Say it Sakura…make me the bad guy again."  
Sakura looked down "…not over the fact that you managed to take away everything I had; except for one thing. It must be some kind of minor set back." She raised her voice.  
Syaoran looked furious and defenseless. "What's that?"  
She looked up at him this time with tears in her eyes "my virginity."  
Syaoran froze. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was hurt that Sakura thought that of him. After all the wonderful years they shared together that was her conclusion.  
"That's bull." He paused then glared at her dramatically "Who are you? Is that what you really think I'm after?"  
Sakura folded her arms as the tears began to stream down her eyes "You are not a nice person and I hate you!"  
Before she could walk away Syaoran yelled "Don't walk away…tell me the truth is that what you really think I am?"  
Sakura took five steps ahead before she paused. She nodded her head; after that she couldn't move. Her whole body was numb. She had a distinctive feeling that he was watching her with the utmost of hurt in his eyes. She wished she could turn around and tell him that she had overreacted. The only thing she was sorry for was for letting those words slid. Those words were only a portion of what she really thought and were never able to say.

He kept his eyes fixed on her. He never thought that Sakura could be so harsh. This time he felt like the prey and not the predator. They will never be completely at peace with each other unless they both decide to forgive and forget the past. Pretence wasn't good enough. It had become a competition of who-can-hurt-who-more and who-can-pretend-to-feel-nothing-the-best.  
"This is insane. What's wrong with us?" he said.  
His voice made her tremble.  
"Sakura if that's what you think of me I'm willing to accept it. I can't make you change your mind. I just don't want to fight with you anymore."  
Sakura remained silent.  
"I can't do anything to change the past but I can try to give you back everything I took from you. I don't want anything from you." The last bit was a lie. There was one thing he wanted from her and that was for her to love him again.  
She turned around responsively "There is nothing you can do." She sounded very sincere and her voice produced an angelic resonance.  
Syaoran still felt upset but as hurtful as she was trying to be, he still wanted her so badly.

**A/N: I hope you liked it's different from the previous chapters. It's a little more dramatic. A few secrets are revealed about Syaoran and Sakura's past relationship. PLZ Review it.**


	5. Confessions of the broken

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, clamp does 

CHAPTER 5

Confessions of the broken  


Sitting a safe distant away from one another ought to be easier than arguing and shouting. Sakura stared at her food and he stared at her. He was surprised at how his gaze went unnoticed. She buttered the same slice of bread repeatedly. He thought of how beautiful she looked lost in her private moment.  
"You're coffee is getting cold." He said. He could tell that his words caught her by surprise from the way she abruptly looked at him.  
She posed a tiny smirk. She had a secluded look in her eyes that told him that she was not there mentally.  
"What's the matter?" he knew what was wrong. It was all about last night. She was either still upset, uncomfortable around him or both.  
"Nothing."  
"If it's about last night-"  
"It's not about last night. It's something else."  
Syaoran was surprised at how quick she responded. He nodded his head letting the awkward silence take its place again. He finished his breakfast and looked at her again. She looked up finally catching him in the act.  
"Why are you looking at me like that?"  
He had already planned an answer which he reserved in case of emergencies.  
"I've just never seen anyone so out of it. I wanted to see if you would notice."  
She dismissed him with her eyes and carried on with her pointless actions. Still, the odd incident left an uneasy feeling lingering.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………

(Sakura's POV)

There was nothing I disliked about Tomoyo and Eriol's apartment. It was a combination of their passions. Tomoyo found pleasure in design and film and he was more into history and art. I was standing next to a mannequin while Tomoyo held a sketch book in her hands. I knew that she would be busy but I had to talk to talk to her. I felt horrible. She walked past me.  
"Stand up straight." She insisted.  
I did as told. She grabbed a chair and sat on it.  
"Tomoyo, why am I standing straight?"  
She smiled "I'm designing a dress just for you."  
"You don't have to."  
"I want to. You know that you've always been my favorite model."   
I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Tomoyo I need your advice."  
"Is it a matter of life and death?" she said lightly.  
"Yes. Just when everything was going smoothly I had to go and ruin it all. I said some horrible things last night to Syaoran. I feel so ashamed when I'm around him now. After thinking about it I've realized that he didn't do anything wrong."  
Tomoyo looked at me eagerly. "What? Start from the beginning. What did you do?" 

"Last night he accidentally walked in on me while I was showering."  
Tomoyo's eyes widened and like a reflex action her head shot up. A naughty grin approached her face.  
"Go on; I'm listening."  
"I marched up to him, like always do and shouted at him. I even remember telling him I hate him."  
Tomoyo grabbed my hand and pulled me outside to the balcony.  
"Sit down." She ordered.  
I slowly sat down. I could tell that she wanted to giggle.  
"You saw him naked?"

I was annoyed at how dirty she was making the incident sound; but then again, who was I trying to kid. I saw him naked and nothing will change that. No matter how I looked at the situation I will feel slightly guilty and perverse for looking at him longer than I should have.  
"Yes, now every time I see him I picture him you know….naked."  
"I'm sure he sees you that way too." She giggled.  
I gasped "I can't even look at him. I feel like it's inappropriate to."  
Tomoyo giggled louder this time. I was trying to erase my thoughts while she was finding them amusing.  
"Aren't you supposed to be giving me a good piece of advice?"

"Oh yeah; First of all why were you mad?"  
"I don't know! I just feel like being mad at him sometimes. The worst thing is that he's been so nice to me lately. Every time I think of the day he left I just want to break down and cry. Shouting at him stops me from doing that." I confessed.  
"Sakura;" Tomoyo began in a soft tone. "You've got to let it all out. Tell him how you feel in a less hurtful manner. He's an understanding guy. Maybe he doesn't know what you went through. All he knows is that you hate him. In fact you two breaking up, might have been a matter of misunderstanding."  
I looked at her and realized that she was more than just serious.

"Promise me you'll tell him." She said taking a step closer to me.  
I nodded. I wished I didn't. I could not picture myself telling him.  
Tomoyo smiled "Tell him tonight."

Before I could say anything there was a voice coming from the living room. Tomoyo grabbed my hand and pulled me off the chair.  
"Eriol is back!"  
I followed her then stopped in my tracks when I noticed who was standing behind him. Tomoyo gave Eriol a quick kiss on the cheek. Syaoran just smiled at me. I tried to smile back but instead ended up picturing him naked again. I flushed coyly before turning away. He walked past Eriol and Tomoyo who were busy showering each other with love. 

"What a coincidence. You left so sudden." He said in a gracious tone. Sometimes it felt like we didn't know each other or lived together. He stood in front of me. I could not help fidgeting with my clothes. I felt like he could see everything. I wished I wore a turtle neck or baggy pants instead of a miniskirt. I started to feel the sweat break out on my forehead and my hands were sticky. He had an arrogant smirk on his face that made me feel nervous.  
"Syaoran please stay for awhile." Tomoyo said.  
Syaoran looked unsure but he smirked and huskily said yes.  
"Perfect." Eriol said.  
"We'll prepare the drinks; right Sakura?" Tomoyo said cheerfully.  
I nodded.  
"Do you need any help?" Eriol asked.  
"No thanks. Sakura and I have a lot of catching up to do anyway." She made her way into the kitchen and I followed.  
She leaned on the counter "You haven't mentioned anything about Ryu."  
"That explains why you didn't want the guys to help."

"He said you two hit it off."  
I began to blush.  
"Is that really what he said?"  
"Yes. He must really like you."  
"We've got another date tonight. He's taking me to his apartment. He paints; I think it makes him even more romantic." I said in a daze. I knew what tonight meant.

(Normal POV)

Syaoran and Eriol stood outside on the balcony.  
"Look at this view." Syaoran said in an unusual enthusiastic manner.  
"What are you up to Syaoran?" Eriol didn't want to waist any time.  
Syaoran did not expect such a sudden attack. He turned to Eriol and grinned leaving a speculating look on Eriol's face.  
"What the hell are you talking about?"  
"I saw the way you looked at Sakura. Anyone can tell from a mile that you want her."  
Syaoran didn't expect Eriol's assumption to be so damn accurate.  
"Is that so?"  
"This is serious. I think things between you two are fine as they are. Why not leave them that way Syaoran? You don't want to hurt her again; do you?"  
"I wish everyone would stop attacking me." He said with heavy emphasis on Eriol.  
"You don't love Sakura anymore. You once made it clear that you would never enter a serious relationship ever again."  
"I never said that I didn't love her." Syaoran replied calmly.  
"Did you just wake up one morning and decided you wanted her back?"  
Syaoran gave Eriol a nervous look "No Eriol! I've woken up every morning and decided I wanted her. I can't stop thinking about her and wanting to be around her. It all feels familiar. She makes me believe."

"Believe in what?"  
"That crap about love and true happiness." He gazed beyond the horizon. "There are so many things I want to tell her. I just don't think she's ready for them yet." 

Eriol didn't know what to say. He took a deep breath and looked at Syaoran.  
"What about her new boyfriend?"  
The nervous look on Syaorans' face disappeared almost as quickly as it had arrived. "Sakura has a lot of anger in her little body. She's going to run out of it some time." He replied completely ignoring the question.

"It's been almost three years since you two were together what do you expect-"  
"Two year eight months and ten days." Syaoran cut Eriol off. 

"What are you two talking about?" Tomoyo said making her way through the French doors with two glasses of wine in her hands. Syaoran and Eriol half-turned and looked at Tomoyo.  
"We're talking about how spectacular this view is." Syaoran replied quickly.  
Sakura was behind Tomoyo practically hiding.

They sat on small round chairs around a small round table . Eriol and Tomoyo always had something interesting to say. Syaoran and Sakura just listened until the topic of their stay together came up.  
"Has Syaoran learnt any manners since the last time I visited?" Eriol said adding onto the statement a chuckle.  
"He's trying." Sakura said quickly looking at him.  
Syaoran smirked.   
"Eriol and I were thinking that it would be great if all four of us went camping sometime in the middle of April." Tomoyo said holding unto Eriol's hand.  
Sakura and Syaoran looked at each other then back at Eriol and Tomoyo.  
"Camping?" Syaoran said with an unsure look on his face.  
"Come on Syaoran. When was the last time you left this place for somewhere more peaceful?" Eriol asked.  
Syaoran pondered for awhile. 'If Sakura comes...' He thought 'Tomoyo will probably be caught up with Eriol, so she'll have no choice but to spend more time with me.'  
"Count me in." he replied hoping that Sakura would say yes.  
"Um…" Sakura looked at everyone "I'll come if I can bring Ryu."  
Syaoran's eyebrows descended as a cloud of disappointment gathered in his eyes.   
"We're fine with it." Eriol replied sincerely.   
……………………………………………………………………………………………… 

That evening Syaoran decided that since Sakura was going out again, it would only be   
right if he hang around with Rei since she was back in town. With Rei, it was now fair play. He was using her as much as she was using him. That was one less thing to feel guilty about. He looked at his wrist watch. It was nearly six thirty.  
"Sakura…" he yelled.  
Sakura walked into the room with a quizzical look on her face. She stopped in her tracks.  
"Yes."  
"Come closer, I won't bite. I promise." He said in a pleasant light tone.  
Sakura walked closer.  
"What's this about?" she asked.  
He walked over to the coffee table and grabbed a small pink box that had a white ribbon on top.  
"Here." He handed it to her.  
Sakura took it with uncertainty and curiosity.  
"You didn't have to; my birthday isn't in until next week."  
"I know. This is not a birthday gift. Consider it a sorry gift. I just thought that it was necessary."  
Sakura looked at it in the most modest manner.  
"What are you waiting for? Aren't you going to see what's inside?"  
Sakura slowly untied the ribbon. She opened the box and was astonished at what she saw. Two sets of keys were staring back at her.  
"Keys?" she asked a little more animated than before.  
"I had them made. One is for your room and the other for the bathroom."  
Sakura closed the box. She flashed an award winning smile that made his effort more than just worth it.  
She looked at the box then up at him.  
"That…is really…."

He didn't know what she was going to say. He watched her, waiting for a complete sentence.  
"It was thoughtful of you. I can't believe you were actually listening to me."

He chuckled huskily "I tend to do that sometimes."  
"I'm impressed." She paused before she spoke in a compassionate tone "I'm sorry about last night; really sorry. I snapped; I just didn't know how to handle the situation."  
He relaxed his shoulders "I understand. Let's just forget about it."  
"How can I. I need serious therapy after what I saw." She said jokingly.  
"That's hilarious." He gave her a boyish grin that brightened his handsome face.  
Sakura would have appreciated it if he didn't do that. The look on his face unfolded memories she did not want to visit. It made her want to adore him again. She immediately shook the thought of it.  
They both laughed quietly, only because they didn't know what else to say. Syaoran knew that one day they would look back at the incident and laugh. He just never expected it to be so soon. He was enjoying every minute of it.

Talking to him about _it_ made it easier for her to look at him without feeling ashamed.  
"Ryu is waiting for me downstairs." She said briskly.

She was pleased that they had an opportunity to reconcile the differences. Now she could enjoy her night without having to carry a burden of guilt.  
Syaoran nodded his head as he watched her walk away. The feeling of watching her leave held less abundance this time. His first reaction was only a phase that opened a door to something greater.

……………………………………………………………………………………………... 

He opened the door like he always did. He made sure she walked in first before closing the door behind him. He helped her take off her coat just like any man with conduct should. She smiled with affection before sweeping the room with her eyes. He turned on the lights uncovering the beauty of his home. It had bachelor pad written all over it. The furniture was few with an artistic feel.

"It's not much but its home." He said modestly.  
"Are you kidding? It's cute."  
"What kind of cute."  
Sakura chuckled "Manly cute."  
He smirked exposing the cute dimple on his cheek. He sneaked his hand well enough to grab hers without her noticing.  
"I would give you an exclusive tour with background music but then dinner would loose its glam"  
Sakura chuckled again.  
"Keep doing that" he walked further into the apartment paving an invincible way for her.  
"Doing what?"  
"Smiling…something happens when you smile."  
Sakura blushed vastly.  
"Have a seat. I'll get us something to drink." 

Sakura didn't sit down. She stood up and explored. What particularly caught her eye were the paintings on the wall. She recalled him mentioning to her that he painted but she never thought that he would that good.

"So what do you think?"  
Sakura turned around as he approached her with two wine glasses in his hands.  
"I can't believe how good you are. They look like they belong in a museum."  
He handed her the wine glass.  
"I really like this one." She pointed at a portrait of a little girl.  
"So do I. That's my younger sister a couple of years back."  
Sakura smiled again "It's beautiful…the way you use the colors."

He stood closer to her. Sakura could feel him breathing down her neck. She swallowed hard. He gently kissed her collar bone as she slowly turned around to face him. Their eyes met before their lips did. His kisses were patient and kind. Sakura could barely breathe.

The date served its purpose and Sakura was feeling good about herself. He parked his car at an empty parking space near the apartment.  
"I had a great time. It would be awesome if we could spend more time together." He said.  
Sakura blushed coyly before leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Yes"  
"I'll walk you to your apartment." Ryu insisted.  
"No it's fine." She smiled.  
"No I insist. Besides I want to see your apartment. " He opened his door.  
Sakura bit her lower lip and prayed that Syaoran would be gone and if he is home she prayed that he had his shirt on.

As they stood in front of the apartment door Sakura hesitated to open it. She wanted to waist as much time as possible. She opened the door. The minute she heard a sound coming from the television she knew he was home.  
"It looks like we're not alone." Ryu pointed out.  
As they walked into the living room they spotted Syaoran sitting on the couch. He looked up at both of them before standing up. Sakura looked at Ryu who had a stunned look on his face that made Sakura want to hide.  
"Ryu…" Sakura began in a hesitant tone "This is my roommate Syaoran."  
Ryu let his arm out for a handshake. Syaoran firmly shook his hand.  
"You're exactly as she described you- decent." Syaoran manage a smirk. Many things were going through his mind.  
Ryu grinned. There was no telling what he was thinking. "It's nice to meet you."  
Syaoran nodded as his eyes feel on Sakura. Sakura kept her eyes fixed on Ryu and Ryus' were on Syaoran.

"Come…I'll show you the rest of the apartment." Sakura said pulling on his arm. Ryu gave Syaoran a cold hard glare that only Syaoran noticed.

When they were in the kitchen Ryu leaned his hands on the counter and gave Sakura a look that Sakura immediately interpreted.  
"I know you were expecting him to be a girl. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just thought it didn't matter. We're just friend, I think, and he's helping me out. We barely speak anyway."  
"That doesn't bother me Sakura. I'm completely fine with it. You don't have to hide anything from me. I understand."  
Sakura moved closer to him and wrapped her hands around his neck.'  
"What bothers me is the way he looks at you." Ryu confessed.  
"And how does he look at me?"  
"I don't know Sakura, maybe it's one of those things that men only notice but he looks at you like…he's in love with you or something."

Sakura laughed hysterically "Trust me, he doesn't."  
Ryu looked at her and smiled "Are you sure."  
"It's one thing I'm very sure about."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**A/N: Thanks sooo much for the reviews from the previous chapter. Please keep on reading. I've got tones of ideas for later chapters. Plz give me a review for this one. **


	6. kisses for Sakura

Disclaimer: I do not own ccs

CHAPTER 6

**Kisses for Sakura **

(Normal POV).

It was the last week of March and the first week of April. It was also, according to Sakura, one of the worst weeks of her life. Eight o'clock Thursday morning she was at the apartment. She sat on the couch and hugged a cushion in hope of comfort as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. She bit her lower lip and tightened her fist.

The minute she heard the sound of footsteps approaching her, she sat up, roughly wiped away her tears and cleared her throat. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked walking towards her.

He sat next to her as she avoided his eyes.  
"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" 

She kept silent. He carefully studied her expression. Her eyebrows jerked and her hands trembled giving her away. 

"What's the matter?" 

She looked at him with intensity as more tears filled her eyes.

"Are you crying Sakura?"

"No." Sakura said, choking back her tears and trying hard to sound natural. 

"Is it because of me again?" 

He sounded unbelievably innocent and fragile. She felt guilty for having given him the impression that every time she was miserable it was because of him. 

"No." She muttered again this time a little louder. 

"Good. What's wrong then?" 

She wiped away the tears again "I was fired." 

"Why?" 

"He said that I'm always late and always have this uninterested look on my face that scares the customers away. He also said that he never liked me anyway when I told him that I didn't like the place." She said looking at him. 

Syaoran chuckled then immediately stopped when he saw a tear fall from her eye. He had the urge to caress her cheek and wipe the tear away. He was yearning to hold her in his arms and kiss her. He dared not to. He knew what would happen if they touched. He would desire her even more. 

"What's so funny?" 

"The way you handled it. Sakura I'm sure you'll find another job. Why are you crying for it if you didn't like it?" 

"I really needed the money. I need it to pay the rent especially and lots of other stuff. Syaoran if I don't find a well paid job soon I'll have to move in with my father again. I feel so defeated." Sakura was still trying to get control of her voice. 

"Don't worry, you can stay with me for as long as you like…I'll take care of everything." he sounded unsure. He made it obvious that he was afraid to be too kind. 

Sakura managed a weak and watery smile "Thanks." 

He turned away and muttered "Sure, It's really no big deal." 

Feeling rather awkward, she also turned away. There was a short thread of silence. The type of silence they had both grown used to.

"Isn't it your birthday?" he asked. 

She nodded "Yes." She was surprised that he still remembered. 

"Consider it a good day to be fired. You shouldn't be crying." He said firmly.  
She kept her eyes fixed on him. He smirked and stood up "Don't move, I've got something for you." 

When he came back he sat on the same spot and handed her a cherry blossom. 

"Happy Birthday Sakura; I know it's not much…" 

"Thank you." Her gaze lingered on the tiny flower. "To be honest; I forgot that it was my birthday. I don't keep track of dates." 

He could have said anything but he chose to smile at her and she smiled back.

"You can wear it in your hair or…I don't know sell it." He said frivolously. 

She giggled and placed it behind her ear. 

"I can't believe it; twenty one." 

He sighed; she could tell that something intense had crossed his mind. He had a secluded look in his eyes. He immediately pulled himself together and beamed. 

"I've got an idea. Why don't you put on your best clothes and I'll take you out?" 

She paused. The whole arrangement was random and even though it was a kind gesture, she had a boyfriend and going out with Syaoran would make her feel like as though she was cheating on Ryu. Syaoran read the look on her face. 

"You think it sounds too much like a date?" He asked right on target. 

"Syaoran it sounds great…but."  
She looked at him and saw the look on his face. He looked almost tragic. "There is no harm in having fun with him" She thought. 

"I'll go get ready."

She didn't know what to wear. Syaoran always had a way of surprising her. She walked out of her room and into his after knocking. 

"Syaoran, where are we going?" 

"It's a surprise?" She knew that he would say that. He looked at her and briskly said

"Wear something casual." 

"Okay…" She said as curiosity tickled her spine 

She eventually found something to wear. By the time she was done Syaoran was standing by the door with his car keys in his hands. 

"Are you ready?" he asked her. 

"Yes." 

Before he could open the door there was a knock that made the both of jump. He opened it; standing before him was Ryu with a bouquet of pink roses in his hands. Syaoran wanted to punch a whole in the wall. Sakura noticed a disappointed look appear on Syaoran's face. 

"So where's the birthday girl?" Ryu asked. 

She smiled as Syaoran got out of the way. Ryu gave her a bouquet of pink roses. Sakura was flattered. Each rose was perfect. She couldn't stop smiling. When she turned around Syaoran was gone. 

"They're beautiful. How did you know I was here and that it's my birthday?" she asked smelling the roses. 

"Tomoyo told me. I went to your work place. I wanted to surprise you there but your boss told me he fired you." 

"That's so sweet." She blushed "Come in." 

"Wait." 

Sakura stood still and looked at Ryu. 

"You've got something in your hair." 

Sakura wanted to explain but before she knew it Ryu had already pulled it out of her hair. He squeezed it in his hands then threw it away. 

As she placed the flowers on the table he pulled her towards him and wrapped his hands around her slender waist. 

"I can't stop thinking about you Sakura. All I've wanted to do all day is to kiss you." 

He looked at her soft lips as a rush of adrenalin fizzed through his veins. Sakura coyly flushed as she tried to catch her breath. He softly kissed her before she kissed him back.  
He tightened his grip on her as his kisses became more possessive. He came on stronger than he usually did and she liked it. It was some time before they parted but when they finally did he stared straight into her eyes. 

"I want to spend this whole day with you. I'll take anywhere you want to go."

His statement reminded her of Syaoran and how much she let him down. She wanted to go in the room and apologies or say something. Though he did not do anything, Sakura felt as though Ryu was pulling her back. 

She decided that they should have a picnic in the park. They sat under an old oak tree. She told him _almost_ everything. He knew what to say and when to say it. The picnic was made complete with many heart warming kisses.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………

When night fell they were back at the apartment. They had been in her room for nearly an hour talking and laughing. Syaoran was still home. She would have felt less vulnerable if he wasn't. Ryu was sitting next to her in the middle of the bed. They were looking at old photo albums. He kept a cute smile on his face that barely faded.

"Next week Tomoyo, Eriol…Syaoran and I are going on a camping trip for the weekend. I was hoping that you would come with us." 

He wrinkled his face "Camping?" 

"Yes camping! You know the great outdoor, tents and camp fires." She said with a perky smile. 

"Sure; wait a minute did you say next weekend?" 

Sakura nodded. 

"I'm sorry. I'm leaving town next weekend on a business trip." 

Sakura sighed. As disappointed as she was, she managed a smile. "It's alright."

She focused her eyes on the photo album. Before she could flip to the next page his firm fingers closed over her wrist. 

"I'm already missing your lips." He said. 

She let him pull her closer to him. At first his kisses were soft and gentle but just like before they became more passionate and possessive that Sakura had to keep up. He moved from her lips to her collar bone. His hands were not as rough as she expected them to be. 

"What's gotten into you today?" she whimpered. 

"I don't know. All I know is that I want you so bad. I really like you Sakura…you mean a lot to me." His kisses were gentle again. 

"I like you too." She was not quiet sure of how to sum up her feelings for him. She lay back. Now he was on top of her. He kissed her lips again as his hands caressed her stomach. 

"I want you so much." He whispered gently in her ear. 

Sakura closed her eyes and whispered "uh Sya…" 

Sakura abruptly opened her eyes when she become conscious of what she was about to say. Ryu kept on kissing her so she assumed that he did not hear her. She heaved a sigh and thought "How could I be thinking of him right now?"

Ryu unfastened the first button on her shirt. Sakura started to feel uncomfortable and her fingers began to tremble.

"Ryu…" she said in a strict tone. He immediately stopped kissing her. 

"Is everything alright?" he looked confused. 

"Um…we can't do this…here." she hesitated.

"Why not?" He chuckled huskily.

"Syaoran is still around and he might hear us." It sounded like a good excuse. She laughed nervously. 

"I don't care if he hears us." 

Ryu unfastened the second button on her shirt. 

"What I mean to say Ryu is…." she paused "I can't do this. Not now and not like this." 

He looked at her startled. He moved away as though forced to. 

"I don't understand. Did I do something wrong? Was I too fast?" 

She sat at the edge of the bed and hid her face in her hands "No it's not you it's me." 

"No…you're doing great!" Ryu sounded pathetic. 

"I've never gone all the way." she admitted. 

He moved next to her. She glanced at him in his moment of stillness. One of his eyebrows jerked. 

"I see. I hope this doesn't sound in anyway wrong but how come?" 

"I was waiting. There was a guy." She paused in order clear her throat "We had been a couple for years. Being young and naïve, when you find what _you think _is love you get carried away. I thought we were going to get married. He always made it sound as though we were. No one really wanted us together; especially my brother and my father. I thought we wanted the same things but at the end of it all I was the one who got hurt. I was waiting for our wedding night but it never came and after he left…nothing happened. I sulked…cried and generally behaved in a way that proved _one_, that I was too childish to be taken seriously and _two_, that they were quiet right about everything. That's what happened. "

She never talked about it. The whole subject had been too sensitive to touch upon. No one ought to brood over being dumped…dumped…dumped…and had not even cared enough for her at the last to call and tell her himself that everything was over. 

Ryu caressed her hand. "It makes sense. So um…tell me…when you're ready." 

Though he smiled and acted okay his eyes seemed to say 'you've got to be kidding me.' 

"So, what was his name?" he asked. 

Her body froze. She saw the question coming but it still hit her by surprise. Her eyes lingered on his face.

"Syaoran." 

He raised his eyebrows "This Syaoran?" 

"Yes." She relied almost ashamed. 

He ran his fingers through his hair almost like he wanted to pull it out. Then he sighed.  
"Wow Sakura you two have quiet a past." He said firmly. 

Sakura held tightly onto his arm "Ryu he ruined my life."

"I'm not the jealous type and I'm not going to get all paranoid about it Sakura but this is a big deal. It just won't go away."

She looked at the floor "I know. It happened almost three years ago. I was eighteen. We had just graduated. His mother came to visit. There was some party his mother was having. We didn't go because he saw no point of it. We spent the whole night together in my room." 

Ryu stared at her with a thwarted look on his face.

"Ryu, I don't know what else to say. Trust me. Things are better now. I've moved on and realized that there is more to life than childish teenage fantasies. I still believe in love…just not the way I used to." Sakura tried to make out the look on his face.

He was attentive. That was all she got from him.

A blanket of silence covered the room. Sakura was desperate for his voice. She wanted to know what he thought and if they still had a future together.

"What an idiot." Ryu broke the silence with a strong bitter tone. 

"Huh?" 

"He's stupid to have let you go. He's the one who lost everything, not you Sakura. I will never let you go. I promise." 

There was something about him that made her believe. She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. He put his arms around her and held her.  
"I promise." He whispered softly.  
……………………………………… ……………………………………………………

Later that night after Ryu was gone. Sakura lay awake in bed. She could not stop thinking about what she told Ryu and his reaction. It was the first time she had ever been so open about the past. Her mind drifted over to Syaoran. She nearly called Ryu Syaoran.

"It's not that I have feelings for him. He just came up! I was loosing it. Maybe it's because of those stupid dreams which have grown to become my nightmares." She said to herself.

She gently touched her lips with her fingers "His kisses are just so…unforgettable." She thought. She closed her eyes and remembered the way his breath felt on her neck. He heart beat accelerated.

She shook her head then thought "Come on Sakura! Get a grip. Stop obsessing over the past. You've found prince charming. Don't ruin it!"

Feeling as though she was loosing the battle against herself, she got out of bed and went straight to the kitchen. The lights were on. When she got there, Syaoran was already sitting on a chair, across the table with a cup of coffee in one of his hands and a newspaper in the other. He looked up at her. 

"Couldn't sleep again?" 

Sakura pulled out a chair and sat on it "As usual." 

He smirked and continued with what he was doing before she walked in.

"Where did you disappear off to? One minute you were here and the next minute gone." 

He relaxed his shoulders. 

"I'm really sorry for ditching you." She said sincerely. 

"The way I see it- Ryu is your…ahem." He purposely coughed "…boyfriend. You should be spending time with him." This was one of the hardest things he ever had to say. The words nearly choked him. Just saying 'Ryu' made his feel as though he was being eaten alive. 

She slightly nodded.

"I almost forgot…Tomoyo called. She wanted me to remind you about the camping trip."

"I guess I have to tell her that Ryu isn't coming anymore." 

Syaoran's eyebrows shot up. The opportunity he was waiting for finally arrived.

"That's too bad. It would have been great if there were more of us." He lied.

Sakura shook her head "No it's fine. I don't think he likes camping anyway."

He plastered a sympathetic look on his face that made him appear sensitive. 

Syaoran felt enjoyable sensations from her presence. There were a million reasons why they should be together. Why couldn't Sakura see that?

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews again and for keeping the story alive. The next chapter is special. Loads of secrets revealed and more kisses. . I'd also like to thank **pollyhi5** for the great advice given when she reviewed chapter 4, I think.**


	7. Any regrets?

**A/N: I'm so so sorry for taking this long to update. I haven't been online for quiet sometime due to so and so. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Special thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chappie. I'll remember to put ur names up in the next chapter.**

CHAPTER 7  
Any Regrets?

(Normal POV)

"Are you two ever going to catch up?" Eriol asked with an agitated look on his face which was exposed by the wrinkles on his forehead and the rolling on his eyes.

Sakura and Tomoyo looked at each other walking far behind Eriol and Syaoran. They giggled then walked more slowly than before.

Eriol shook his head confused before giving Syaoran a quizzical look. Syaoran simply relaxed his shoulders. 

"I wonder what they are talking about." Syaoran said smoothly though the feeling of not knowing was eating him alive.

Eriol walked ahead of Syaoran and said in a half whispered "You must be glad that things turned out your way."

Syaoran shrugged. A tiny spark glowed in his eyes. It could have been the sun but Eriol was sure that it was pride.

"Not yet." He replied.

"So what are you going to do? Hit her head with a block of wood and hope that she will forget what a jerk you can really be."

Syaoran shook his head and chuckled. If Eriol knew what he was feeling, he wouldn't have made fun of him. Syaoran turned away from Eriol and stood still.

"Why are you just standing there? We need to get to the lake before nightfall." 

Syaoran folded his arms across his chest "I'm waiting for Sakura….and Tomoyo too of course."

Eriol rolled his eyes and released a sigh.

When the girls caught up Syaoran made sure he walked alongside Sakura and at the same pace as her. Eriol and Tomoyo walked far ahead of them. She did not show any indications of exhaustion. She was calm and had what he would defy as a cute little smile on her face. Her eyes glowed, he was so caught up with looking at her that he suddenly tripped over a rock and fell on his stomach.

"Syaoran!" Sakura yelled. 

Syaoran did not move immediately. He felt so self-conscious. 

"Syaoran are you alright!" she yelled again this time stooping and leaning towards him.

Syaoran turned around and lay on his back. The only thing that kept the moment alive was Sakura. 

"I'm alright. It's only a little fall." 

She laughed quietly to herself "You should really watch where you're going." 

She held her hand out for him. He looked at her before he took the friendly gesture. Just as he expected, something happened when he touched her hand. Time stood still and everything else disappeared. He could feel his blood rush through his veins. He wondered if she felt too. She pulled his hand well enough for him to sit up.

"Are you hurt?"

He was not sure if he could speak after what had just happened. He managed a smirk. 

"And you always said I was the clumsy one."

"Well you know…um…yeah." 

"Speechless. That's a first. Are sure you're okay?" 

"I'm fine." He managed to finally speak. 

As she stood up so did he.

She placed her hands on her hips. "We've got a lot of catching up to do. I can't see them anymore."

"Neither can I." 

"Do you know the way?

Syaoran nodded "Kind of."

"So this makes us lost." Sakura said in an unstable tone.

"Don't worry about it. I think I know the way..."

Sakura rolled her eyes "We are lost in the woods in the middle of nowhere. Are you serious." She pointed out with bitter sarcasm.

"Look at the bright side, you are stuck with me and I'm pretty good at this nature stuff."

Sakura did not look convinced. She heaved a sigh then looked around. Suddenly she felt like a small fish in a big ocean.

"Let's go this way." Syaoran decided.

"Why? Are you just guessing?"

Syaoran rubbed his chin with his index finger "Don't you trust me."

"Let's not even go there." 

"I remember something about moss and direction…something like that." 

Sakura shook her head "Fine…whatever you say but if something goes wrong you are to blame."

They walked for a few minutes before Sakura popped a question she never thought she would ask.

"So…" she started in an uncertain tone that drew all of his attention to her. "How was Hong Kong?"

His eyebrows shot up as though he was experiencing the most important moment of his life.

"It was just fine. At first it was a total nightmare I couldn't wake up from." His eyes were full of emotion almost as though he was going to cry

"How come?"

"My father died my first week there. That is one of the reasons I left." His tone grew softer and more depressing.

"Sorry…" she did not know what to say.

"I inherited everything." His tone remained distressing.

"Everything?" Sakura asked to ensure that she was hearing right though she did not want to make him say it again. Her tone was a mixture of sympathy and curiosity.

"Yes. Then I had big shoes to fill. I was only twenty, everyone expected so much from me. I was frustrated. I didn't want to be there…I wanted to be here in Japan, but there was no escaping." 

Sakura had gained a certain level of understanding. She realized that she was so busy thinking about the way she felt that she never took time to consider his feelings. 

"What made you decide to come back?"

It felt a little too early for him to tell her everything. He came back to Japan because of her. She was the one thing he needed the most and the one thing missing in his life.

"Work." He lied. He didn't know what else to say.

Sakura looked at him and smiled. "If it makes you feel any better. I'm glad you came back."

"Why? Did you miss me." He said winking at her.

"Nope." Her eyes fell on the ground then shot back at him "I think everyone else did."

………………………….

They had walked for almost half an hour before they finally reached the lake. The water stretched beautifully across the land. The trees were lush and green. You could see their reflections clear on the water.

Syaoran and Sakura looked at it and embraced it for awhile. They reluctantly tore their eyes away from the wonderful scenery and unto each other.

"Didn't I tell you that I knew the way?" Syaoran flashed a boyish grin.

Sakura beamed and exhaled. "I'll race you to that tree over there." She pointed at a pine tree a short distance from where they were standing.

"How old are you." He said lightly.

"If I didn't know any better, I would say that you were afraid of a little competition."

Sakura started running. Syaoran sighed before he ran after her. He quickly managed to catch up with her. Before Sakura could run any faster, he grabbed her waist.

"Stop it Syaoran! You're cheating." She yelled and giggled at the same time.

He started to tickle her. She lost her balance then managed to find it before falling roughly on the ground. He, while trying to hold unto her, fell right on top of her. She lay on her back and looked up at him. She was still laughing and he started to laugh soon after that.

When the laughter died, he remained on top her gazing longingly into her eyes. They were both out of breath. Her breathing rate was slightly faster than his. Feeling her warm breath on his face stimulated an instant need in him. He grabbed her wrists as though trapping her. He leaned his face closer to hers. Her face seemed to be saying 'kiss me now.' 

"Syaoran…" she whispered.

"Yes." He said softly ready to feel her soft pink lips.

"You've got dirt on your cheek." She said chuckling after that.

Syaoran loosened his grip on her. He took one last look at her before moving. He lay on his back next to her.

"Syaoran…I can't believe Tomoyo and Eriol are still not here? Do you think they are looking for us."

"I don't know. We used a short cut."

"I'm sorry." Sakura spoke in sudden a compassionate tone.

"For what?" 

"You're father. I always thought that you were on some kind of vacation." She felt like she had to say more but still, the words came out wrong. 

"It's fine." 

Sakura turned her head to look at him. His tone was calm and confident. It sounded as though he was trying to hide something deeper.

She wanted to hold his hand but something stopped her, fear.

……………………………

Eriol and Tomoyo arrived at the campsite a few minutes later. They were surprised that Syaoran and Sakura got there faster than they did but what surprised them even more was that they were getting along.

At sunset Tomoyo and Eriol were chasing each other around down at the water's edge. Sakura and Syaoran sat a 'safe' inches from each other. They glanced at the lake and at Eriol and Tomoyo. They could hear Tomoyo laughing.

"Wouldn't it be cool if they finally got married?" Sakura sounded envious.

"Yeah, it would be." He looked at the ground "Hey, what's your brother up to these days?"

Sakura chucked "I can't believe you are asking me that. I thought you never liked him."

Syaoran beamed "I didn't. We never understood each other."

"He has a girlfriend…he won't admit it but he's afraid of commitment."

"I'm not surprised."

The way they spoke to each other and their body language showed that they felt comfortable around each other. They were running out of reasons to argue.

……………………………………….

(Syaoran's POV)

I sat alone in the dark. I did not bother to look up. The stillness made the moment feel long and melancholy. I heard the sound of footsteps which suddenly stopped a short distance behind me.

I sat still for a while longer before rapidly turning around. I caught Sakura standing with her arms crossed. The trees shadowed her face. I could not see her expression but I knew that she was startled.

"Sakura?" 

She gasped and turned away pretending to not notice me. "I'm sorry…um I couldn't sleep; as usual." 

"You don't have to hide in the dark. I don't mind the company."

She slowly approached me. She sat next to me quiet and motionless. Now I could see her face. The bright yellow moon highlighted her exquisite features. It unveiled her bright emerald eyes, her porcelain skin and her silky crimson lips. 

She wore denim shorts and a tight t-shirt. She always looked breathtaking.

"Isn't it beautiful?" I said gazing at her thoughtfully. 

She smiled "Yes…the water is so inviting. Doesn't it make you want to swim?" 

I looked up at the lake "Not really." 

"To be honest Syaoran; I came here because I want to go swim; I know it sounds crazy because it must be freezing in there but I still feel tempted to do.."

Not once did our eyes meet. She had developed a sudden fear of gazing into my eyes. 

She stood up "Come on. Let's go swim!" 

I looked up and shook my head "I don't think so." 

"Syaoran, it's our last night here. We might as well. If It was up to me…I would never go back home." 

She held my hand and pulled me with such strength that I found myself standing up. She strolled closer to the lake and allowed the water to touch her feet. 

"Come on Syaoran!" she said looking back at me. 

I tucked my hands into my pocket. "Have you lost your mind?" 

"Not yet."

She took off her T-shirt and her shorts. I bit my lower lip and my eyes widened. What was she trying to do to me? My palms were suddenly sweaty. I tried my best not to let my gaze linger on her body but on her face. She was now wearing a baby pink bra and matching underwear with two cherries on the side. Most would consider this normal male behavior, but there was nothing normal about it when I was trying not to look too distracted or interested. 

"Why are you? What are you…?" I ran out of breath before I could finish my sentence. 

"Calm down will you. It's no big deal now right?"

I shook my head and made a squeaky sound. It was a big deal. 

She ran into the water. I moved closer and watched her swim in a circle.

"What would Ryu think if he found out that his innocent Sakura is swimming half naked in front of me?"

She giggled "He would understand. He's an understanding guy you know. It's not like I'm doing it for _your_ entertainment. I'm doing it for me."

I almost laughed. Something strange had come over her and I would be stupid not to take advantage of it. I took off my coat then my t-shirt and ran into water. I could hear her laughing out loudly.

We played around for a short time. Soon she swam near me. She kept looking at me and smiling. It was like seeing her smile for the first time. I could not help smiling back. It felt like she was speaking to me though she did not say anything. 

"Any regrets?" I asked. 

"No. What about you?" 

She looked up at the stars for awhile before she looked back at me "Ask me tomorrow morning." 

"Sometimes I feel like I don't understand you as much as I think I do." I confessed. 

She drifted closer to me "Me too." The smile on her face faded "Sometimes I wish I was more like you. You don't care about anything. You just…live."

We stood on higher ground. We looked at each other. I held her hand and pulled her warm body closer to mine. She kept her eyes fixed on me. Her skin felt smooth against mine. The love I had for her ran through me and the warmth ran down and stiffened my legs. I slowly wrapped my hands around her waist. She did not move. She gave in so easily that I slightly felt guilty.

"That's not true. I care about you. Don't freak out but when I came back from Hong Kong the only person I wanted to see was you; more than anything, so I stalked you. I followed you every where. At first I didn't recognize you. Your short hair was now long…" I paused and embrace her. "I could not believe it. You looked even more beautiful than I remembered you." 

She laughed nervously as though she did not believe me "How long were you following me?" 

"One day. I just had to see you. I wanted to know how you were without interfering." 

She was quiet as though waiting for me to say more.

"I'm not sorry for doing it, I missed you so much." 

We were quiet. It was awkward but felt right. I cold feel her breath on my face. Her lips slowly parted and she closed her eyes. I kissed her lips gently. To my surprise she let me. I then looked at her. 

"We shouldn't be doing this." She whispered. Her tone emphasized tranquility.

"I know we shouldn't be doing this but…."

I kissed her again and this time she kissed me back. 

She freed herself from my grip and sighed "This is wrong." This time her tone was bitter. 

How could it be wrong when it felt so right? The way she held me and the way she kissed me said otherwise. I wanted her even more. 

"Wrong?"

She shook her head "I must be dreaming this."

She walked out of the water to the lake side. I quickly followed her. Water slide from her auburn hair and dripped on her toned shoulders. She shivered then wrapped her hands around her chest.

"You'll catch a cold." I ran over to my pile of clothes and picked out an olive coat. I wrapped it around her shoulders.

She coyly smiled.

"So what happens after this?" I asked trying my best not to sound anxious.

She did not move nor speak. She glanced at me, her glance made me weak. I managed a wearily smirk.

She cleared her throat then suddenly spoke "What is it about you that makes me loose control. Sometimes I just feel like I need to stay away from you but…." She paused then looked away.

"You always seem to find me."

It felt like a second chance. I sat on the ground and she sat across me and glared at the lake. She hugged her legs and leaned her head on her knees. She licked her lips then quickly rubbed her eyes. I could tell that like me, she had many things on her mind. 

"There is something nice about all this." She spoke tenderly. 

"What?" 

"Sitting here…next to you." She paused then added "Not saying anything." 

I beamed "Yeah it is. Do you know what's also nice?" 

Her eyebrows shot up. 

"Talking; I know we talk now more than we used to but we never talk about what really matters. We never talk about us." 

She picked a pebble from the ground, placed it between her fingers and tossed it.

"What happened to us Sakura? We were perfect for each other." I looked at her. She was so quiet that I felt like I was talking to myself. 

"The only time I've ever been really happy is the time I was with you." Those words marked the end my emotional constipation. 

"Really?" Her left eyebrow jerked as she glared at me with intensity.

"Yes Sakura." 

The radiance in her eyes disappeared "You look happy to me. You have a supermodel girlfriend, a fortune and a smartass personality." 

I nearly laughed "I'm a mess. I don't have passion for anything." 

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not." 

"If you needed me so much, why did you leave without telling me anything. I would have understood." 

"I wrote you a letter. I wanted to tell you face to face but everything happened so fast I never got a chance to."

"Which letter?" She sat up. 

"The letter I told my mother to deliver to you." 

She sighed "I never got any letter. All I got was a message from your mother…" 

"Message? What did she say?" 

"Never mind." She said lightly but I could tell that she was hurting. 

I grabbed her shoulders and she gasped. Her body was cold.

"Tell me Sakura! What did she tell you?" 

She looked straight into my eyes "She said you left for Hong Kong and you told her to tell me that you didn't love me. That leaving was your way of breaking off what we had. I never believed her. I went to your apartment. It was empty. I made up all sorts of excuses for you until I had no more. I realized how naive I was being. After a year everything I felt for you died." She simply pretended to laugh it off. 

"Sakura…I can…I'm still…" I unintentionally started the statement in a hoarse overbearing tone. I wanted to tell her so much. I held my breath and tried to think it through; ironically there was nothing to think about. I was in love with her. It was the only thing I had ever been certain of.

She flipped her hair back and looked at me. 

"Syaoran, don't spoil this moment. Please." She pleaded.

I was quiet.

"We better get back. You might catch a cold."

"No I'm fine."

She stood up "Goodnight Syaoran."

I wanted to say more. I wanted to beg her to stay but I couldn't. Something held me back. 

After she was gone, I did not move. I began to understand why she found it so hard to trust me again.

…………………………

(Normal POV) 

Early the next morning Syaoran wondered if the events of the previous night were a blissful dream or reality. It seemed almost too good to be true. Sakura acted like nothing happened. She spoke about the weather, home; cooking…she spoke about everything but him. He did not say much. As they hiked through the woods Syaoran tried to catch up with Sakura. When he did, he gently held her hand.

"Syaoran what are you doing?" she asked coyly.

"Last night…do you remember?" Syaoran whispered. 

She sighed then looked at him. "What do you want me to say?"

"It's not what I want you to say."

"I wasn't thinking straight. I wish it didn't happen. I thought about it all night and it was a mistake." She shook her head.

"Mistake? Is that what it really was?" 

"Don't you understand? I can't be with you because I know how it will all end. Giving into you is too risky. I'd rather be with someone I can count on like Ryu."

"I see. You are afraid to be with me." 

She sighed "I don't know." 

Syaoran faked a smile. "No matter how long you date Ryu, even if you marry him, you two will never have what you and I had."

"And what's that?" she shrugged and started to walk away.

"We had Passion and lust. That's why we kissed last night." He spoke with pride and confidence.

Sakura flushed as overwhelming images of the two of them flashed in her mind. "Syaoran I'm going to be smart for once and go with who is good for me rather than…" she paused "…you." 

………………………………………….

**A/N: I've changed the genre to angst cause there is just so much happening.**

R&R please -


	8. Addictive, Stimulating, Gentle, Loving A

**CHAPTER 8**   
**Addictive, Stimulating, Gentle, Loving And…Passionate.**

(Normal POV)   
Sakura sat with her eyes closed, stretched out on the sofa her with feet on Tomoyo's centre table. Tomoyo stood at one corner of the archway that separated the dining room from the living room.   
She hugged the archway post. "Are you sleeping?"

Sakura opened her eyes and looked up at her.

"Nope, I was only resting my eyes.

"Sakura you've been sitting there for almost two hours now."

Her mouth twisted into a grimace. "Can I spend the night here?"

She had an awful routine of running to Tomoyo whenever things went wrong.   
"Why? You still haven't told me what happened, I think it would be best if you didn't spend the night and worked this thing out with-"

"I'm thirsty and come to think of it hungry too." Sakura interrupted "Let's order pizza."

"No! You are going to tell me. You never want to talk about what's bothering you."   
Sakura sat up and withdrew her legs from the centre table to the floor.

"I can't go back." She shook her head "So much happened. We were having such a great time. After we kissed…he told me he wanted me back, something like that."

Tomoyo smiled "Where was I when all this happened."

"It's not something to smile about Tomoyo. I gave into him so easily. I let him hold me and…anyway, now he thinks I'm physically attracted to him. Can you believe it! He's like." Sakura cleared her throat "You can't resist me as much as I can't resist you." She imitated his voice. "Bull shit! He thinks he knows what I'm feeling."

Tomoyo's eyes glowed "Well are you?" she asked trying hard not to blink.

Sakura made a face "Hah, of course not. I have a boyfriend and we are passionate about each other…and we can't resist each other."   
Tomoyo just sat back and watched. _Whatever you say Sakura. You put so much effort into convincing me that you are not attracted to him. _She thought slightly irritated.

Sakura stood up and walked from one side of the room to the other.   
"There is more to a relationship than passion anyway. Some guys just get the wrong impression."

"Sakura please be honest. Why did you kiss him?"

Sakura sat down. She paused then looked at Tomoyo.

"I wanted to." Her voice was soft and carried virtue. "I wanted to know if it will feel the same way it used to feel. It was addictive, stimulating, gentle, loving and…passionate. It was like nothing else." Her eyes sparkled and a smirk touched her lips.

Tomoyo's eyebrows rose.

Sakura shook her head. _Snap out of it Sakura_.

"Did it feel the same way it used to?"

"Yes…maybe _even better_." Sakura confessed. She bit her lower lip and cursed under her breath.   
"Then it must have meant something." Tomoyo pointed out while she eagerly awaited for a reply.

"I don't think so. It just means he is a great kisser." Her tone was lower.

Tomoyo looked away then rolled her eyes. She looked at Sakura again. She noticed that her skin was invaded by Goosebumps.

"Wow, you got Goosebumps just by thinking about it."   
Sakura played with her fingers "I'm just feeling cold."

Tomoyo wanted to grab Sakura's head and slam it against the wall. She was being thickheaded on purpose.

"I don't see why you are making such a fuss about it. I thought you wanted me to be with Ryu?"

"I want you to be with the man you love." She folded her arms across her chest "Who ever that is."   
"It's Ryu."

Tomoyo sighed. _At least say it like you mean it_. 

"What happened with Syaoran was just an experiment. It won't happen again."

"Hey Sakura, I have an idea. I'm done with that dress I was making for you. Why don't you try it on?"

Sakura vaguely smile and nodded.

Sakura stood in the small passage between the kitchen and the bedroom. A disbelieving look started in her eyes and brought a smile on her face. She spun around and looked down at the dress. It was a blue dress made from a silk material with an empire waist, thin straps that showed off her toned shoulders. It was knee length and extended the length of her legs.

"I love it!" she squealed.

"It's way better than I thought it would be."

It was a soft knock on the door that drew their eyes away from the dress to the door.

"I'll get it. It must be the pizza guy." Tomoyo started toward the living room.

She casually opened the door not bothering to ask who it was that was knocking.

"Is Eriol in?" Syaoran asked in a low tone.

Tomoyo smirked "No, but he'll be here soon. Come in."

Syaoran walked in and Tomoyo closed the door behind him.

"I can't stay too long…."

Syaoran was interrupted when Sakura strolled into the room looking down at her chest.

"Tomoyo, I think you need to fix this area. My boobs can't breathe, it's a little too…" she looked up then stopped in her tracks. Her cheeks turned red.

She cleared her throat and stood up straight "Syaoran-kun." She said in an exaggerated formal tone.

"Mrs. Kinomoto." Syaoran replied in an even more formal tone. He gave her an icy glare then turned away.

Tomoyo chuckled then lightly thumped Syaoran's shoulder "Mrs. Kinomoto? What's wrong with you?"

Syaoran took a step back while Tomoyo walked toward Sakura.

"What do I need to fix?" Tomoyo looked at the dress thoughtfully."

"Nothing!" quickly replied Sakura.

"You look so beautiful." Tomoyo held Sakura's shoulders and forced her to turn to him. "Doesn't she look beautiful Syaoran?"

Syaoran looked at her from the corner of his eyes. He was mesmerized. He managed to look away and act blithe.

"It's alright."

"Alright? Is that all you can say? You barely look at it."

Syaoran turned to look at Sakura. She stood still, she reminded him of a mannequin at some fancy boutique.

"It looks uh…" he coughed "beautiful." _Why is she making me do this?_ A faint quizzical expression softened the lean ridges on his face.

"Doesn't it go perfectly with her delicate frame and toned upper body and her long legs of course?"

Syaoran shrugged "If you say so."

"Tomoyo, um there is one tiny thing I need you to fix…um in your room please." Sakura insisted.

When they were in Tomoyo's room, Sakura quickly closed the door.

"What the heck was that about?"

Tomoyo relaxed her shoulders "What? I just wanted a third opinion. Turn around, I'll fix that problem you let slip." Tomoyo giggled.

When they returned to the living room, Syaoran was still standing up.

"Tomoyo, I really have to get home. I've got stuff to do." He started to walk to the door.

"Stop!" Tomoyo yelled.

Syaoran turned around startled "What is it?"

"Take Sakura with you. I can't drive her…Eriol and I have this romantic night thing planned when he gets back. I can't drop her off." Tomoyo laughed nervously.

"I'll catch a bus!" Sakura wailed in an annoyed tone.

"Forget the bus, I'll take you home." He said. His handsome face glowed with radiance.

Sakura sighed "Fine! I'll have to take this off."

"No leave it on." Tomoyo cut Sakura off.   
Sakura slipped on her stilettos and trailed behind Syaoran. _She sold me out-again_. She thought with regard to Tomoyo.

………………………………………………   
It was a long drive back to the apartment. None of them bothered to say a thing. It felt like they were back to where they were when they first moved in together.   
When they reached the apartment, Sakura made her way to the kitchen and he sat hopeless on the couch. When Sakura was done in the kitchen she approached him.

She sat next to him; there was a string of silence. Suddenly the room felt empty. She picked up the remote and turned on the TV.

"You could be so cruel." Syaoran mumbled loud enough for her to hear. He then coughed the word "wrench." Of course he didn't intend to be so malicious; he just wanted her to say something. He wanted to irritate her…just a little.

She kept her eyes fixed on the television screen. "Syaoran if you have something to say, say it and stop acting like a five year old."

"Nope…I am absolutely speechless. The only thing that's bothering me is how you lead me to believe that things were different between us."

She turned off the TV "That's pathetic; I did not lead you to believe anything. You did that yourself."

"Sakura, you took your clothes off and kissed me back! What am I suppose to think?" Syaoran argued.

"This is why I don't want to date you. You have this sick idea in your head that I want you." Sakura faked a long bitter laugh.

"You are crazy! You have no idea what you do and why you do it!"   
Sakura was more agitated, she clenched her teeth. "You are such a jerk. That's it! I've had enough of this. I'm moving out!"

"Fine! Move out!" Syaoran yelled moving closer to her.

"I will!"

Now there was no space left between them. Their faces were close to each other as they exchanged long heated glares.

"Go…what the hell you are waiting for!" he yelled.   
Suddenly their mouths touch. Something happened, it was electric. A sudden ache of desire overcame them.

"I'm going to…"

She was cut off when Syaoran pressed his lips against eyes. She tried to pull away but he kept pulling her closer. He kissed one side of her lips before cupping his hands around her delicate face. Sakura's eyes were still open.

"Stop…" she murmured.   
Before Syaoran could stop she quickly said softly "Don't…don't stop!" closing her eyes after that.

She kissed him back as he pulled her even closer to him. He wrapped his strong arms around her slender waist. Each kiss was more deadly than the last. She could feel her body responding to his. She ran her fingers through his disheveled hair. Everything escaped her mind including Ryu. Right now she just wanted to relive Syaoran's devouring kisses.   
He moved from her mouth to her temples leaving an astounding taste in her mouth. As he moved from her collar bone down to her neck, Sakura swore that she would tell him to stop but the words stuck to her throat. They were replaced by short breaths and the rapid movement of her chest. Syaoran left a trail of love bites on her neck. He ran his fingers through her golden-brown curls down to the back of her neck.

His heart plunged with anxiety. His hands snaked their to her shoulders. He played with the straps of her dress "I love the way you look in this…you are so pretty." She flushed coyly.   
He smiled at the sight of her crimson cheeks. He planted a soft kiss on her left cheek then kissed her mouth again.

She could hear his voice echo in her head "you can't resist me as much as I can't resist to you."

She slowly broke the kiss. He gave her a naughty grin and she looked intensely into his amber eyes. Looking into them didn't make her conscious of what she was doing. It made her want him more. More than she ever had.

She quickly unbuttoned his shirt. He looked up to her surprised. She forced it over his arms. He helped her take it off before tossing it to the other side of the room. She traced the line of his shoulders and held her face close to his. They shared another passionate kiss. She felt a flush of heat run through her body. He loved the way her smooth silky skin felt against his leathery exterior.   
Suddenly a disturbing thought crossed her mind. A voice in her head yelled. _How could_ _you let it get this far? Do you realize where this is leading? You are letting him win. He broke your heart remember, who cares if he is gorgeous and irresistible…and a great kisser…stop and runaway while you still can._

After that thought Sakura stopped kissing him and pushed him away. She breathed heavily and looked at the floor. He glanced at her thwarted and puzzled.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

She ran her fingers through her now muddled hair then gently touched her lips. She pulled up the straps of her dress.

"Why am I doing this?" She said sensitively. She wouldn't let Ryu touch a button on her shirt but she was ready to make love to Syaoran. She did not think it through. She let her emotions and hormones guide her through the experience. It was not like her. It was irresponsible and foolish.

"Maybe…maybe we are moving too fast." He scratched his head. He didn't know what to say for it was hard for him to tell what she was thinking.

"I have a boyfriend."

"Do you honestly think I give a damn? It doesn't bother me Sakura." He said with a hint of absurdity in his tone.   
"You don't understand. It won't work out! I don't want to depend on you…I don't think I can and besides…I love Ryu not you anymore. Love and lust are two different things." As she spoke tears filled her eyes. She kept her vision away from him. She talked like she did not really believe what she was saying.

She stood up and slowly walked away.   
She walked into her room and locked the door. She strolled over to the dressing table and stared at her reflection in the mirror. The tears in her eyes ran freely down her cheeks. She didn't understand why she was crying. She just felt like she had to. She looked at her swollen lips and the love bites he made on her neck. There was nothing she could tell herself to make the pain go away. She threw herself on the bed and squeezed the pillow.

As Syaoran walked through the passage he came across Sakura's door. He leaned his forehead on the door and tightened his fingers into a fist. _I love you Sakura, please don't_ _cry._

He felt like there was nothing he could say to make her feel alright. He could only try.

"Sakura I wish there was something I could do. I always seem to make things worse but I'm trying." He said firmly.

There was no reply.

"I'm stupid…I made up all sorts of lies just to hide my feelings for you."

Still there was no reply from Sakura.

"Please…say something….please." he sounded anxious.   
He turned around, leaned his back against the door then slide down to sit on the floor.   
"I know you say you don't love me. I don't want to believe it…it hurts." He admitted.

Inside her room; Sakura moved closer to the door. She heard every word. Each word held a strong meaning. She leaned her back against the door and quietly sat on the floor.

"I'm still not sure of what went wrong between us. It doesn't matter anymore." Eccentrically, he felt like she was leaning against his back.

She was still quiet. He was certain that she was listening.

"I'm leaving Japan in a couple of days from now."

On the other side of the door, Sakura gasped before biting her trembling lower lip.

"Come with me Sakura, I'll take care of you." He paused then added "I promise."   
Sakura hugged her knees and buried her head in them. She didn't know what to say or where to start so she said nothing. 

……………………………………………………………………………………………….   
**A/N: Sad isn't it?****I really liked writing this chapter. I was just so excited about the idea. I hope it wasn't over the top. I'm sorry for being such a teaser- always giving a bad ending to the chapters but don't worry, it'll stop. Oh I almost forgot to thank everyone who has reviewed this fan fiction **   
Kinomotoblossom, x-Melodyz-x Lil-BabYAnG3L puasluoma harmony Sakura and Syaoran, ashley-chan, rage-ember, Boheme, sakusyao PinkCh3rryBlossom, rukz, pollyhi5, 2LeeLee, Dead account get used to it Criticizer101, thereviewergirl, just4ugirlkhattu, Sakura Panda63, 2 OVERLY obsessed, BlueMeteorGirl, Kinomotoblossom, x-Melodyz-x 

If I skipped anyone plz let me know **Reviews please.**

**Disclaimer: I do no own ccs.**


	9. ClASH

**Chapter 9  
**

**C.L.A.S.H **

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**(Normal POV)**

Sakura sat on her bed quietly alone in the dark. All the drapes were drawn and the lights were still off. He was now gone.

"I'm so confused." She murmured to herself.

She finally found the force to stand up and leave the room. As she strolled across the living room she saw his shirt on the floor. The same shirt she eagerly unbuttoned. She started to remember how it got there. With wobbly hands she picked up. She glared at it with intensity. Her tears threatened to fall as she slowly released it from her hands. As she stood still in what felt like an empty apartment, there was a knock on the door. 

"Who is it?" she spoke in a trembling manner.

"It's me, Ryu."

Sakura quickly walked to the door. He looked at her ominously. Tears began to flow from her eyes.

"Sakura, what's the matter?" 

Sakura took two steps closer to him and buried her head in his chest. He wrapped his hands around her.

"Why are you crying?" 

Sakura didn't want to say anything. She just wanted him to keep holding her. She sniffled and wheezed before pulling away from him.

"What happened to you? Your hair is everywhere and…" he paused. "Did he do something to you?"

Sakura didn't know what to tell him. She shook her head.

"Are you sure? Sakura, you don't have to protect him. If he did something to you, you can tell me." Ryu said worried. He was convinced that Syaoran was the only person capable of hurting Sakura to that extent. (Don't you just hate him right now?)

Sakura nodded again. "I don't want to talk about it…it's not him…it's me."

"You tell me everything. Why not this…I'm worried about you. I think you're trying to protect him. You can't keep doing this…giving him a benefit of a doubt each time he hurts you."

Sakura unintentionally ignored him as she reminisce the last words Syaoran told her. 

Ryu noticed the love bites on her neck. His gaze lingered on her neck before he spoke. 

"Did he do that to you?" he asked angrily.

"Ryu…I just want to leave this place. I'll explain everything later."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm probably going crash over at one of my friend's apartments…maybe Chicharu's." leaving the apartment was her way of trying to overcome the confusion.

"You can come live with me for awhile."

"Are you serious." She said groggily.

"Yes. Pack everything. Don't leave a single thing behind." He said resentfully.

Sakura walked closer to him and hugged him "Thank you."

As she walked off to pack her things, Ryu pondered. He tightened his fist and thought "How could he do that. I knew I should have never trusted him. I'll make sure Sakura never sees this place again after I take care of him."

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

Syaoran looked down at the wooden counter. Another drink and he was ready to call it a night. He kept his eyes fixed on the counter and cupped his hands around his fifth bottle.

"I feel like I drinking till I pass out." He said taking another sip.

"Slow down Syaoran!" Takashi an old friend of Syaoran exclaimed.

They never hang out as much as they did in high school. They often ran into each other at bars or parties. He came to bars to watch sports; his girlfriend Chiharu hogged the TV back at their apartment. Syaoran on the other hand came because he wanted get smashed; He wanted to drink his worries away.

All of a sudden Syaoran started to laugh. He shook his head then kept quiet. Yes, he was officially drunk.

"What's so funny?" Takeshi asked.

"I spilt my heart out for her and you know what she did?" he chuckled. 

"Who? What?"

"Sakura Kinomoto…Sakura…Sakura. I did all that I could. I have nothing left…what am I going to do. I can't make her love me…I can't-she thinks she's in love with some asshole."

Takashi laughed inwardly. "I thought you two broke it off years ago? I didn't know you two got back together."

"We never got back together! I hope she'll be happy…who am I trying to kid. I hope she'll be as miserable as I'll be for the rest of my life." 

Takashi shook his head feeling nothing but sympathy for the poor guy. "Did you tell her you love her?"

"I told her a lot of things." 

"But did you tell her you loved her?"

"It doesn't matter. It's all the same." Syaoran frowned.

"Not it isn't." Takashi argued. 

"Yes it is." Syaoran said in stern tone. 

Takashi shrugged his shoulders "I might not know much about women but one thing I'm sure of is that women want to hear those words. They are not a lot but they say so much."

Syaoran turned away and mumbled "Well…it's too late now."

"It's never too late." Takashi said unflinchingly.

"When did you become Mr. Sensitive?" Syaoran mocked.

Takashi chuckled "When Chicharu made me take cooking classes and ballroom dancing. You can kind of say I got in touch with my feminine side."

"Oh…" Syaoran then made a face "Why do you let her boss you around."

"The same reason why you'd be willing to do anything for Sakura."

"It's more complicated than it sounds." He laughed hoarsely.

Syaoran sat still. She loved him…she had to. In his mind, it felt like the end of the world.

Takashi now saw his sadness, even under the casual laugher and the bravado indifference. 

Suddenly he felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned around. Ryu was standing before him looking rather aggressive. Something cold and terrifying was in the air between them. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked. 

"So that's the asshole." Takeshi thought while taking a sip of his drink.

"What did you do to Sakura?" he growled.

"What happens between Sakura and I is none of your business." He said lightly. Syaoran's strategy was not to take Ryu too seriously.

Ryu roughly grabbed Syaoran's t-shirt. He pulled him then held him tightly against the wall with his eyes staring fiercely into Syaoran's.

Syaoran made a face and chuckled. "What do you plan to do…kill me? You're messing with the wrong guy. Sakura would also hate you if you did." Syaoran knew how to anger him.

"How could you…you never deserved her before and you still don't"

Syaoran kept a grin on his face that made Ryu sick to his stomach.

"You forced yourself on her didn't you?"

The surface smile left his face. His eyebrows descended. A cloud of rage gathered in his eyes. He clenched his teeth and said in an angry undertone "Go to hell"

Ryu grabbed Syaoran's neck and slowly started to choke him. 

Syaoran accumulated enough strength to push him away. Ryu fell back a step with a sudden fear of showing his face.

Syaoran's medium built and his wit could have fooled anyone. He was much stronger than he looked or sometimes acted. Ryu stumbled a short distance from Syaoran.

He kept his eyes fixed on Ryu "Did she tell you that?"

Ryu took a deep breath "No…she wasn't able to. She was traumatized."

Syaoran stood up straight and chuckled "I could never do that her." He took a step closer to Ryu. "I hate to break it to you but…" he chuckled again. "She let me kiss her."

"Liar!" Ryu growled suddenly throwing a punch at Syaoran.

Syaoran managed to dodge it. When Ryu let his guard down, Syaoran punched him right between his eyes. 

Ryu crouched on the floor and hid his face. 

Syaoran gave him a long icy glare before walking away.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Later that night when Ryu reached his apartment, he slowly opened the door incase Sakura was still sleeping. He insisted she sleep in his room while he slept on the couch. As he ambled to the kitchen he saw Sakura standing against a wall close to the kitchen door. She wore a tight white vest with pink cotton shorts that had little white bunnies printed on them. 

"Hi." She said in a clear tone. 

"Are you fine now?" He asked looking down. He did not want her to notice his disjointed nose.

"What happened to you?" Sakura asked moving closer to him. 

"Nothing. It's just a little…"

Sakura held his face in her arms "You don't need to be brave around me all the time. Let me see."

He held his face up high. His nose was red and purple all at the same time. 

"Who did this to you?"

Ryu look straight into her eyes "Syaoran did."

Sakura gasped, startled.

"I tell you Sakura, that guy is a maniac. He's insane. I didn't do anything to him. He just punched me." Ryu lied.

Sakura now had a quizzical look on her face. "I can't believe he would do this." 

Ryu pulled Sakura for a hug "Don't worry, he'll never come near us." 

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

(Syaoran's POV)

I slowly walked through the door throwing my car keys on a nearby table. It was awfully quiet. I found it hard to adapt to this empty feeling. As I walked out of the living room, I noticed that the door to her room was open. 

I crept into it…it was empty. The only things that was there was the bed, closet and dressing tabled. It was like she was never there.

"Sakura!" I yelled out her name. Maybe she was in another room. My alibi did not make sense. I walked in every room just to make sure. I found myself back in what was once her room. I sat on the bed and thought of her.

"It's over."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

(Sakura's POV)

It was a cheerless morning; the sky was overcast with dense vapour like a grey veil. I stared blankly at the horizon from his bed. My head lay uncomfortably on the pillow. The sheets only covered a portion of my body and my eyes were half close. Ryu's room was huge with a bay window and maroon curtains.

I thought about it. I couldn't stop. I thought about him and everything he said. I thought about his strange violent behavior towards Ryu. Before, I would never let my mind wander that far.

My phone rang. I lazily held it to my ear.

"Hello?" I said groggily.

"Sakura, hey. Did you hear about what happened last night at some bar?" 

I sat up "It's weird, isn't it. Ryu told me everything." I explained to Tomoyo. "Who told you?"

"Takashi was there with Syaoran, he told Eriol and Eriol obviously told me."

"I can't believe Syaoran would do such a thing." my heart skipped a beat when I said his name.

"It was self-defense Sakura. It's not like he had any other choice." 

"What are you talking about?" I stood up from bed. 

"Ryu came into the bar, accusing Syaoran of forcing himself on you. Syaoran was pissed. He didn't attack him though; Ryu tried to punch Syaoran but failed."

My jaw dropped. "Tomoyo, I'll call you back."

I marched into the kitchen. He was carrying a loaf of bread.

"Honey what's wrong." He said immediately noticing the frown on my face.

"You lied to me!" I growled. 

He turned away and placed the bread on the counter "About what."

"…About Syaoran hitting you. You jumped into conclusions and decided to hit him. He's innocent. How could you?"

He moved closer to the centre table "I wouldn't have if you bothered to tell me everything. Don't try to make it my fault." He growled.

"I was in a state of shock. I was feeling so many things I couldn't talk. I promised to explain it to you didn't I?" 

"Okay Sakura, we'll have it your way!" he clenched his fist and banged it hard against the table. His lips were folding into a tight line, like he had an unpleasant thought. Climbing anger on his face broke free.

I trembled nervously at the sound of the bang. A sudden chill struck through me without knowingly.

"Explain. Tell me how he managed to get you in bed with him! The thought of his tongue down your throat sickens me. How could you?" he made a face.

"There you go again jumping into conclusions. I did not sleep with him." I argued.

"But you were going to, weren't you Sakura?" he squinted.

I looked up at him feeling embarrassed. My body somehow froze and I stopped breathing.

He grinned "I guess that makes us even!"

I tried to frame a reply but choked on it.

"How could you Sakura! I thought you were smarter than that. How did he manage to seduce you so easily?"

I saw the pain in his eyes.

"Damn it Sakura…I love you. I deserve you more than he ever will." His voice was now softer.

I closed my eyes "Sorry." I wish I said it with a little more sympathy and meaning but for some reason I couldn't.

"Promise me you will never do this again!" he roared.

He moved toward me, grabbed my shoulder and shook me while yelling "Look into my eyes and promise me." His words were harsh. I didn't want him to see how I was suddenly afraid of him.

I swallowed hard "I promise. Ryu please…let me go…you're hurting me." I said softly.

He reluctantly let me go before wrapping his strong arms around me and burring me in his chest.

"I'll make sure you never leave me my sweet cherry blossom." He brushed my hair with his rough hands. "That bastard doesn't care about you." He whispered huskily.

At that moment I thought "I have to get out of here."

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**A/N- I know it's short; I can't promise that the next chapter will be long but it will be pretty good. Don't you just hate Ryu right now?**

R&R please (BTW I do not own ccs.)


	10. Lost for words

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS

Chapter 10

**Lost for words**

(Normal POV)

**Two days later**

He slowly opened the shutters then strolled over to two empty boxes on the floor. There was much to be packed, too much. If he spent more time accomplishing his task and less time thinking about her, the whole apartment would have been empty. He didn't own too many things but it was taking forever to pack everything.

"So you really are leaving." A voice came from behind him spoke.

Syaoran immediately recognized Eriol's voice.

"Don't act surprised. You knew I would eventually…I've overstayed my visit. Now there is no point of staying any longer."

"She's living with Ryu now."

"I figured." Syaoran said firmly.

"She needs you."

He sighed "No she doesn't. Besides they really need me back in Hong Kong."

"Come on; don't tell me you are giving up. You never give up."

Syaoran turned around and gave Eriol a cynical look. Though he was trying to look alright, he looked like someone had taken away his soul.

"What? Aren't you the same guy who warned me to stay away from her? Maybe I should have listened to you. This is far worse than what I was feeling before I met her again."

Eriol faked a laugh "Oh…so she rejected you once and you're already giving up. I'm sorry for not believing in you but don't give me that bullshit about how you tried and got nowhere."

"She rejected me twice…I'm not giving up. I just want her to be happy and if that means without me then so be it." he turned away as though the pain was too much to tolerate.

Eriol leaned against the wall next to the door that separated the office from the living room. "That's just it, she can't be happy with out you." 

Syaoran did not move. Eriol gradually approached him.

"Sakura has always been a great friend. When you came back, Tomoyo had this crazy idea of getting you two back together. She just wanted Sakura to be happy again. I wasn't too wild about the idea but I went along with it. I thought if you came back in her life…she'll be hurt. It was stupid of me. When you are not around she's distant…the only time she really smiles is when she is with you. I saw that when we went camping."

Syaoran packed his office equipment and pretended not to listen. He then looked down at the floor and said "Do you mind helping me pack up." 

Eriol shook his head and sighed "Sure."

Syaoran picked up a box and placed it on the table. "How did you get in here anyway?"

"Your front door was open. Oh yeah, before I forget, I have big news!" Eriol said with a sudden excitement.

Syaoran finally looked at Eriol, this time with a half smile. "What is it?"

Eriol's face glowed "I'm going to ask Tomoyo to marry me." 

Syaoran smiled as his eyebrows shot up "It's about time. What took you so long?"

"It was timing. First she was so busy with her career and so was I and we just moved in together…it seemed too soon. Now that everything is settled-it will be perfect."

Syaoran slightly shook his head as his smile slowly disappeared. Bittersweet nostalgia filled his mind. He blinked then smiled again. "I thought you said you weren't going to get married till you're thirty." Syaoran pulled down his baseball cap.

Eriol chuckled "Easier said than done."

………………………………………………

Sakura sat on the bed and paged through a large green folder. She only managed the flip through two pages when she mumbled "I'd like to come with you…don't go." She didn't know how she let the words slip but Ryu obviously overheard her. He walked into the room and sat next to her.

"Hey babes, who are you talking to?" 

Sakura blinked hard "Um…myself. I do that sometimes, I know it's weird…" 

Ryu planted a kiss on her forehead "You're right, it is."

He turned aside; his eyes fell upon a pile of photographs. "Are these those famous pictures you're always talking about?"

Sakura picked them up "Um…I don't always talk about them…can I show you some other time." She said coyly.

He grabbed them from her hands "Come on Sakura; don't tell me you are shy."

Sakura looked at him plainly "I kind of am." 

He stroked her cheek "That's cute…now lets see what you've been hiding.

Sakura swallowed hard. 

He took a quick look at each picture, not finishing the pile and placed it aside "Sweetheart…can I be honest with you?" 

Sakura tucked her hair behind her ear "Sure." 

"You should get a real job. In photography you kind of have to be talented and you pictures are." He paused and muttered "how can I say this in the nicest way possible "Confusing. No one is going to want to buy these. You're a gorgeous girl and your body is…" he bit his lower lip "beyond hot. Why don't you model or…I don't know…something profitable."

Sakura's jaw dropped. She stood up abruptly and started walking toward the door.

"Hey Sakura, what the hell is your problem. Was it something I said? You know you haven't been yourself lately. You're so emotional and quiet."

Sakura half turned and replied "I'm thirsty and I want to see what's on TV." 

"I choose what we're watching…" he said excited.

"Don't you always." Sakura muttered.

"What was that." He said squinting.

Sakura fake giggled "Uh, nothing."

As she filled an empty glass with water she took a deep breath and asked herself "What am I doing here?" Ever since she left Syaoran she just didn't want to do anything. She didn't want to talk to anyone or say anything. She couldn't stop thinking about him. If she'd keep this up she was bound to explode. To top all the confusion her so called prince charming was driving her crazy. So much for Mr. Understanding. She couldn't help but compare him with Syaoran every time he did something. He spoke to his mother on the phone at least thrice a day; Syaoran never spoke to his mother. He combed his hair neatly even before he went to bed, Syaoran barely touched his hair. Now making herself believe that she loved him became complicated.

She walked into the living room where he was already seated comfortably on the velvet sofa. She sat next to him and he quickly put his arm around her neck.

"Wow…you smell so nice, like strawberries."

Sakura tried to smile but she couldn't. "Thank you." She said plainly.

He shifted closer and gently pressed his lips on her neck. Sakura stood up like it was a reflex action. She shuddered and crinkled her nose.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked.

Sakura beamed though her eyes looked like they were crying. "It just shocked me; it tickled."

He abruptly grabbed her hand "Come on, sit down." 

Sakura shook her head "No, I have something to do."

He sighed then slowly released her hand. 

Sakura walked quickly into the bed room. He followed her. 

"What the hell is wrong with you? You won't let me touch you! You won't even let me hold you. You're not being honest with me Sakura. It only took one night for things to completely change between us."

Sakura simply shrugged her shoulders.

He held her waist and traced his hands against them. Sakura snapped and pulled away.

"Will you quit that Ryu, please?" 

Ryu glared at her with intensity. Sakura played with her fingers then slowly looked up at him.

"I'm sorry; I can't stay with you. It's not because of you, you've been great. I just need to sort some things out." 

Ryu rubbed his chin with his index finger "Do you love him?" 

Sakura paused. She did not blink. She swallowed hard as she felt hot tears behind her eyes. 

"Yes."

Ryu sighed. He moved closer to her as his eyebrows descended and his mouth twisted. He grabbed her shoulders and tightly squeezed them. 

"I love you. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I had so much planned for us." 

Tears began to flow freely from her eyes. Sakura could no longer control her emotions and neither could he.

"You will never find another man like me! Why do you have to be such a little bitch Sakura? Tell me why? (Harsh, does he really expect an answer after that).

Sakura tried to push him away but he was much stronger.

"Stop it!! Let me go Ryu!" she yelled in the midst of the tears. 

"No I'm not letting you go. You want to leave me. I know you do!" he yelled back. 

He smelled her hair then he pressed his lips against hers. His lips were dry and rough against hers. She wanted to scream. As he forcefully held her face closer to his, Sakura pushed his away and ran towards the door before he could grab her again. She quickly closed the door and to her delight the keys were in the keyhole. She could hear his footsteps and quickly she twisted the key.

"Damn it Sakura, open the damn door!" he yelled while continuously twisting the door knob."

Sakura wiped the tears from her cheeks. She looked down at her bare feet "I forgot my shoes in there." She muttered.

She ran to the living room where she grabbed his car keys and left the apartment.

………………………………………..

She stood in front of a navy blue door. It felt like an eternity since she had been there. She thought "How should I knock? How am I going to say this? What is he going to say? What if he hates me now? He has to hate me; I'd hate me if I were him. " She bit her tongue. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

She whispered underneath her breath "Syaoran, I love you. I'm sorry I didn't say it any sooner. If you leave me, I don't know what I'll do." 

She looked up at the door then lightly knocked on it. Her knuckles were shaking and her palms were sweaty. 

The door slowly opened. Syaoran's eyebrows shot up. Words stuck to his throat as he looked at her. Her face was pale. Her eyes were dark and tear stains covered her crimson cheeks. Her hair was in a neat ballet bun. She wore a beautiful red summer dress. Her feet were bare. She looked tragic and lost. He knew that he would never forget the way she looked. He felt utter sorrow. He never thought that staring at a creature so beautiful and sweet would bring him such misery.

"What happened to you?" he asked softly.

Each word evoked a feeling of foreboding in her. She didn't know if she was strong enough to contain herself. She wanted to fall so that he could catch her and hold her. His amber orbs were intense and she felt like she was home.

It was too hard to explain. "Nothing." She said in a low tone.

"What are you doing here?" His tone remained gentle and sensitive. 

"Um…I…" she choked on her words "Uh…I forgot a pen." She lied. 

He kept his gentle eyes fixed on her "You came all the way here for a pen?" 

She nodded "It's a special pen…It's lucky." 

He let her in slowly closing the door behind her. Sakura look around the apartment. It was empty. All the happiness, sadness, anger, love had died. It was like her when Syaoran is not in her life.

"I didn't see any pen but I'll go check." 

Sakura nodded and watched him walk away. The room was dimly lit. The portraits on the wall were gone. All the furniture, the television set, the mat that used to be precisely where she was standing. They were all gone. The only thing left were brown cupboard boxes. It was then it really sunk in, he was leaving.

He walked into the room and walked toward her "I didn't find your pen… but I found this."

He handed her a photograph. It was one she had taken months earlier when she visited family member in the country side.

"Thank you." She said softly.

"It's beautiful" his eyes glowed "You're really good at this. I see why you love it so much." He paused "Where are you're sho…you know what never mind." 

Sakura looked at him. He was being pleasant and honest. She felt like she didn't deserve him.

"I've got to go." She said plainly starting her way toward the door. 

"Sakura"

She stopped in her tracks. 

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning." He looked at her back; he wished he could see her face for the last time. He wanted to make her stay and tell her how much he loved her until she couldn't stand it anymore. Instead, he tucked his hands into his pocket and said in a husky tone "I hope everything works out for you." 

"Me too."

She strolled towards the door and never looked back.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..  
A/N: **too short. The next chapter might be the last depending on what I come up with.**

**  
R&R please **


	11. Perfect for you

Chapter 11

Perfect for you

**Warning: Emotional chapter, sensitive readers must ensure they have a box of tissue close by.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CCS**

(Normal POV)

"She's been like that since yesterday." Tomoyo poured orange juice into an empty glass.

"Do something." Eriol said standing a few centimeters from her.

Tomoyo placed her hands of her hips and looked at him attentively "What do you want me do?"

Eriol rubbed his chin as though uncertain "I don't know…anything, she's your best friend and she can't go on like this."'

Tomoyo sighed and relaxed her arms "She won't talk to me. She just keeps looking out that window."

Eriol ambled over to Tomoyo. He wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her closer to him. 

"You've got to help her realize that she's making a **huge** mistake. He's leaving in approximately 1 hour from now. If anyone can convince her, it's you."

Tomoyo managed a weak smile "I'll try." 

Eriol kissed her and released her. "Don't make any plans tonight. I've got something _special_ planned for us."

Tomoyo nodded "So do I."

Eriol gave Tomoyo a quizzical face. Tomoyo picked up the glass of orange juice.

She gave him a peck on the cheek and whispered in his ear "You look sexy when your confused."

…………………………………………

Tomoyo advanced over to the lounge where Sakura stood looking through the window.

"I got you a glass of orange juice." She said handing it to her. 

Sakura took it from her hands and starred back outside through the French windows.

"Say anything…" Tomoyo hesitated "I hate it when you don't tell me anything. I hated it that you never told me why you and Syaoran broke up. You pretend to be okay when you clearly aren't."

Sakura slowly turned to look at Tomoyo. She was surprised. She held her head up high and said "I'm so sorry."

Tomoyo plainly glanced sympathetically at her.

Sakura swallowed hard "I love him. I thought by staying away from him I was being courageous. There is nothing courageous about running away from love. I don't think I could ever feel this way about anyone else. It was a dead end from the beginning for us."

Tomoyo placed her hand on her Sakura's shoulder "It's not too late."

"You don't understand; when I saw him last night, I fell to pieces. I've put him through so much and I don't know if he'll take me. I know he'll be happy. He'll find someone that will love him. He's so easy to love."

"Don't say that. What about you?"

"I'll be fine…I'll find a way to stand on my feet. I'll avoid ever being in this kind of circumstance ever again. I'm fine Tomoyo. I'm not crying and I'm not falling apart." Tears filled her eyes "I'll be fine. I promise."

Tomoyo hugged Sakura "You can tell me." She was limp in her arms.

"It's best for the both us. But it hurts so much…." Sakura cried "I can't stop thinking about him."

Tomoyo let Sakura go and looked at her. "Are you sure that this is what you want."

Sakura was quiet. She roughly wiped the tears off her cheeks. "Look at me, getting all emotional again." She sobbed "It's not what I want but…I'll take it."

Tomoyo could not believe what she was saying.

She looked at Tomoyo "I'm sorry for being such a pain in the ass. If I told him how I felt things would have been different." She cleared her throat and stopped crying "I always pictured our future in my head. I always imagined marrying him and having his babies." She beamed "Isn't that silly."

Tomoyo shook her head "No it's not."

Sakura chuckled "I'm already missing him. I miss the way he smiled at me. The way he would do things just to please me. His eyes; I'm going to miss his eyes the most. I'm also going to miss his cute ass."

She uttered a genuine giggle that made Tomoyo smile.

"I know they say that if you love someone you should set them free. I'm hoping those words will put me through."

"Just do what your heart tells you."

They were quiet for a moment before Tomoyo spoke.

"Tell me if this is silly."

Sakura looked at her attentively.

"I love Eriol and I know how he's like. He never wants to ruin something he thinks is perfect the way it is but I want more from this relationship. We've been dating for 4 years." She smirked "I'm going to ask him to marry me. I know it's not traditional…it's dumb isn't it? I should wait for him to ask me."

Sakura looked at her and smiled "Screw tradition. When are you going to ask him?" she said thrilled and anxious.

"Tonight. Sakura I'm terrified. What if he's not ready for this kind of commitment? I know I am. "

Sakura held Tomoyo's hands and spun her around "Are you kidding me? He's ready. Call it intuition."

"I'm still worried about you."

"Stop worrying about me. It will pass." Sakura didn't believe herself as much as she pretended to. She didn't want to ruin the moment. "I'm moving back home with my brother and father. I'll find a decent job and eventually be able to get my own place."

Tomoyo hugged Sakura again. This time she hugged back.

"My brother is coming this afternoon. I just need to find a way to return Ryu's car."

Tomoyo was still concerned about her.

…………………………………………. 

Sakura sat in the tub. It was now 10:00. In a matter of seconds he would be gone. From the minute she woke up, she counted every minute. She glanced at the washcloth thoughtfully. A second escaped.

"If I keep myself busy, I won't think of him. It will be fine." She muttered and looked at the washcloth as though she was talking to it. She splashed water on her face. She wasn't sure if it was the warm water or tears that made her face feel hot. She stopped splashing and sat still. "I should be with him…he's now gone." Though she swore to herself that she wouldn't, she found herself crying again. It was hard to take.

How was she ever going to forget the first boy that ever made her feel special. The boy who gave her her first kiss and told her he loved her. Though they would not be together physically, he was mentally _bounded to her for life_.

She spent an hour in the bath. When she came out; she took nearly two hours to get dressed. Tomoyo figured that she was still crying. When she finally came out of the room, she walked into the lounge, smiling. She wore a white A-line skirt that was at a knee length, a baby blue vest, a denim jacket and a pair of adorable flat shoes. 

Tomoyo was resting on Eriol's lap and Eriol had a novel in his hand. Their eyebrows rose at the same time when they saw Sakura.

"You're happy and all dressed up." Eriol said fixing his glasses. He was surprised. Only minutes ago he thought he heard her cry.

She played with her fingers "You two are awesome and thanks for letting me stay here. I just thought you should know."

Eriol and Tomoyo looked at each other confused.

"I have to go out. I just need to gather my thoughts." Sakura said making her way out of the apartment.

Eriol and Tomoyo looked at each other again still astounded.

…………………………………………..

Sakura knew what she had to do. Something in her told her to go back. Just for the last time. She took a bus and stopped right in front of the apartment building. She felt happy to see_ home_ again but poignant that she won't see the _one person_ who made it feel like home

She slowly opened the apartment door and quietly walked in. Just as she anticipated, the apartment was completely empty. She advanced to the living room which now looked like a large blank room.

She looked around the room. It looked bright orange. The sunrays traveled through the window touching the amber wooden floor. The creamy color of the wallpaper came out.

She could almost hear herself arguing with him. She strolled over to the centre of the room and sat on the floor with her legs crossed. A voice in her head told her "How could you let go the only man you will ever be in love with."

"I don't know how I can go on without you. I love you Syaoran. I'm strong when I'm with you. I've always needed you." She imagined herself talking him.

She sighed and looked at the floor.

"Do you mean it?" 

His voice came from behind her. At first she thought she was hallucinating so she remained still. She heard his footsteps tap on the floor taking one step closer to her.

She slowly turned her head and she saw him. He wore a white shirt, a navy blue tie with trousers. He looked unusually formal and his hair was neatly combed. He looked older than usual and ruggedly handsome. He had that 'I-know-I'm-attractive-but-I-don't-take myself-too-seriously' look on his face.

Sakura rapidly stood up nearly loosing her balance. They exchanged a long meaningful gaze. Neither of them blinked. Her eyes sparkled with sensuous delight. 

Sakura's lips moved but nothing came out. The words, once again stuck to her throat. She didn't know what to do next.

He moved closer to her. He let his hand out and wrapped his finger around hers. An abrupt tear streamed from her right eye down her flushed cheek.

He caressed her right cheek and said softly "You're such a cry baby."

"I'm sorry." She smiled "I love you."

"I love you too. There is nothing that you could do or say that could stop me from loving you"

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. Sweetly her body grew numb. She felt safe and loved. In his arms she felt like he owned her.

He released her.

"I thought you were gone?"

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave you. I sat on your bedroom floor all morning. I felt like I had to wait for you."

Their faces met, then their lips. He gently caressed her lips with his as though he was teasing them. He brushed his lips harder against hers and deepened the kiss. Their hearts became one. Both were exploding with so much passion and desire that when they parted, they were both staggered.

…………………………………………………..

Sakura lay on her back on the floor and Syaoran lay sideways facing her. He played with her finger and planted soft kisses on her jaw line.

"I can't believe this is real." He said now clasping her finger between his.

"I think I've dreamt this; the difference is that we were lying down in a cornfield, making out." 

One of his eyebrows rose "You dreamt about me?" 

She nodded "Everyday. I was always scared to go to sleep; whenever I closed my eyes, you were there and most of my dreams didn't end too well. One time, I saw you standing on a cliff. I called out your name and you couldn't hear me and the next thing I knew, I was drowning."

Syaoran chuckled "What a coincidence; I've also dreamt about you everyday. The outcome was usually a nightmare."

She gently stroked his hair "It's so neat and you're all dressed up. What's the occasion?"

"I was supposed to attend a meeting the minute I reached home. Environmentalists are threatening to shut down one of Li Corp's most substantial companies."

Sakura looked into his eyes again. She embraced his cheek "So when are you leaving?"

"The next flight is at five o'clock; I think I'll stay."

"You can't do that. You can't stay here because of me. I'll come with you; there is not much here for me anyway."

He smiled and gave her a quick kiss "We have to be at the airport at three o'clock and it's now two…we have approximately one hour to get ready."

Syaoran sat up and Sakura right after him.

"My stuff is still at Ryu's." she said sadly.

"Don't worry about it. He came over this morning and dropped it here. He thought you would be here. He says he's sorry and wants his car back."

Sakura sighed relieved.

……………………………………………….

The first thing they did before leaving for the airport was go to Eriol and Tomoyo's apartment where they found Touya waiting for Sakura. 

When Tomoyo and Eriol saw Sakura and Syaoran walk through the door they were ecstatic.

"Finally, you're here;" Touya sighed "Get your stuff and lets ge…." Touya's words trailed off when he noticed who was holding Sakura's hand. He squinted and grunted. "What's going on?"

"Hi Touya." Sakura said merrily.

On Touya's face was a combination of confusion and resentment. His shoulders drooped visibly.

Sakura slightly smiled "Uh…how do I say this?" she looked at Syaoran who shrugged.  
"I'm going to China with Syaoran." She said still smiling.

"What?" Tomoyo and Touya said at the same time though Touya said it with irritation and Tomoyo said it with contentment.

"Touya; Syaoran and I are back together and…" She swallowed hard nervously "I love him and I want to be with him." She gave Touya a long consequential glance but Touya's eyes were fixed on Syaoran who was timidly trying to avoid his eyes.

"How could you Sakura?"

Sakura rolled her eyes; she folded her arms across her chest "Touya, are you even listening to me." 

Touya shook his head inattentively.

Sakura walked over to Tomoyo and hugged her "I'm going to miss you." She tilted her head over to her ear and whispered "Good luck tonight."

"I know you'll be alright." Tomoyo said emotional. 

"When are you coming back?" Touya asked/

Everyone's eyes were on Touya. 

"Uh…I…" Sakura looked at Syaoran.

"I don't know." Syaoran said simply looking back at her.

Touya stood still; speechless. 

When Syaoran and Sakura pleaded their goodbyes, they made their way towards the door. Touya quickly grabbed Sakura's wrist.

"Don't do this." He said in a solemn tone.

Sakura looked at him "Please; let me go. I know what I'm doing. Trust me." 

Touya's eyes were full of emotion. He felt like he was loosing his_ baby_ sister. He slowly released her hand. Sakura swiftly hugged him. 

"Thank you. Tell Dad I love him and not to worry about me." 

………………………………………….

They reached Hong Kong at night. A limo was already waiting for them at the airport. They were driven to the Li mansion. The limo driver helped them carry the luggage into the mansion. When Sakura first walked in, her jaw dropped. She didn't know where to look first. The floor was shiny, made from marble and had paintings of Angels. The windows were huge. There was a large staircase covered by a maroon carpet. 

Syaoran closed the door. "We're finally here." He noticed the look on Sakura's face "I don't decorate. I just live here." 

"It's…wow." Sakura's eyes wondered all over the room. They were paintings and statues.

"How many rooms are there?"

Syaoran stood next to her "only thirty." 

Sakura gave him a sardonic looked "Only?" 

"No one is here right now but the chefs and they are in the left wing. I'll give you the ultimate grand tour."

Sakura turned to him "No one is here, huh?" she said in a seductive tone that immediately turned him on.

He lightly grabbed her hand, pulled her close to him and they shared a passionate kiss. When their lips slightly parted he said "I've been thinking of doing this to you throughout the whole journey."

His lips slithered on her lips. He suddenly slipped his tongue into her mouth. Sakura nearly jumped. She opened her eyes for a second then closed them again. Her spine tingled as his hands traced her waist down to her hips. She felt like she was floating very gently. She unwillingly broke the kiss.

He's breathing was as unstable as hers.

"Uh…that was..." She paused and held his hand "What's upstairs?" She said biting her lower lip.

Syaoran's lips formed lustful grin. 

They hurried upstairs. When they were in front of a huge brown door, Syaoran took out a set of keys. He twisted them through the key hole anxiously. 

"What's behind this door?" she said coyly.

"The best room in the house." He looked at her "The master bedroom."

He pushed the door open. Sakura wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. Each kiss held more greed than the last. He kissed her neck, her jaw line, her temple. He was obsessed with her. He never thought he would want someone so much. They both hurriedly kicked their shoes off. 

The feeling of his hands on her skin killed her. She held the collar of his shirt and hastily untied his tie and threw it aside. Quickly she unbuttoned every button on his shirt. She was aggressive and even pondered ripping it off his body. He could not help but love her response. She forced it off and threw it to the other side of the room exposing his biceps and toned chest. Once again she shocked him. There was a flash in her eyes.

He was just as impatient as she was. He held her close to him. He pulled her shirt over her belly button. He traced his hands over her navel and pushed her shirt further up. 

"Wait a sec…" Sakura said breaking the kiss again. She took her top off.

Syaoran couldn't stop staring. Her breasts were magnificent. He remembered the time he saw her in the shower. His heart pounded faster at the thought of how it's going to be like to be in physical contact with that luscious body.

He traced his hand over her back with the intention of unfastening her bra. He tampered with the snap fastener. 

"Oh shit." He thought as he struggled to unclasp her bra. He fought with it for awhile while still kissing her lips.

So that she won't notice he suddenly carried her and placed her on the bed without breaking the kiss. He lay on top of her. His hands traveled to her back again. Once again he was fighting with the snap fastener and this time it was obvious.

"Why are you fighting with it?" Sakura asked lightheartedly.

Syaoran nervously laughed "Fighting with what?" He looked cute and innocent. _Dumb bra_ he thought.

"My bra; it's like world war between you two." She giggled amused by his bashfulness.

Syaoran kissed her lips and chuckled. 

Suddenly the door swung open. Syaoran and Sakura turned their heads instantly. Standing in the doorway was a woman. She wore a white suit, stilettos and her hair was fixed in a neat bun. Sakura immediately recognized her, it was his mother.

"Oh shit!" Syaoran said looking at his mother then back at Sakura. 

"Syaoran is that you." She said unsure lowering her glasses. 

Sakura's jaw dropped as Syaoran struggled to get off of her. He suddenly fell off the bed straight on his back. Sakura looked down at him with worry.

"Oh shit!" Syaoran cried even louder. The pain was excruciating 

Sakura remembered the time she fell off the bed. She covered her face with her hands.

Syaoran sat up as his mother walked into the room. She gasped and had a disturbed look on her face.

"Hi mother." Syaoran said waving his hand in distress. "You remember Sakura." 

She took one swift look at Sakura and immediately dismissed her. 

"I thought someone was invading my home." 

Syaoran looked at Sakura who was still covering her face. 

"Get dressed…I need to talk to you. ALONE!" she said quickly walking out of the room. Her heels clicked on the marble floor. 

When she disappeared, Syaoran looked at Sakura.

"I'm sorry…I thought she would be at a banquet or something. She's never home at this time"

"Are you okay?" 

He smirked "Yeah."

Sakura removed her hands from her face and giggled. "That was embarrassing."

Syaoran stood up. He picked up his shirt and quickly out it on.

"I wonder what she wants to talk to me about." He didn't know why he made that statement for he knew exactly why she wanted to talk to him.

……………………………………..

Syaoran walked into a huge room, her office. His mother was standing in the middle of the room. She signaled him to sit down. He sat on a chair. 

"I thought you were at a banquet." He said irritated.

"I'm supposed to be there but I was waiting for you. You missed the meeting this afternoon and I know you did it on purpose."

Syaoran shrugged "I was doing something very important."

"The company your forefathers spent years building is falling apart and you don't care about putting it back on its feet. You are a disappointment to everything this family has worked hard for." 

Syaoran couldn't argue back. He was just as disappointed in himself as she was in her.

"You're going to the banquet and you _are_ going to explain why you ignored your responsibilities."

"I'll fix everything; I just needed Sakura in my life first." 

She sighed "Just get dressed; we are already late as it is."

Syaoran walked into the room. Sakura sat at the edge of the bed. Syaoran sat next to her and kissed her bare back. 

"I have to go to this…thing." He whispered sadly.

Sakura was concerned "What's wrong."

"I've messed up everything here and I have to fix it. You can come." 

Sakura shook her "No, it's fine." 

"Are you sure." 

She nodded. "I'm not ready. I'll only slow you down." 

"I'll be back in two hours. I don't want to leave you alone here." 

Sakura turned around and looked at him "I understand. I believe in you. I know you will be able to fix it."

He kissed her. "Don't miss me too much." 

When he was gone and she was alone, she threw herself on the bed. She lay there for awhile then said to herself "I guess this is what happily ever after is like."  
……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Authors note: The end; only kidding. I'll probably add one or two more chapters depending on reviews. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and the previous.**


	12. Happily ever after?

Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own CCS**

**Happily Ever After?**

He walked steadily into the bedroom. It was now 1 am and he assumed that she was fast asleep. Slowly he took off his shoes and his tie. He tiptoed to the bed and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt. She slept sideways on one side of the bed. She wore a pink night gown that hugged her body smoothly. Still looking as beautiful as ever, her hair tumbled alluring on the pillow.

He smiled at the sight of her and shifted closer to her.

"You're finally back." She whispered in a sluggish tone with her eyes still closed. She turned over and slowly opened her eyes. Her emerald eyes gave the moment a dramatic twist.

"It wouldn't finish. There was this conference." He planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

She beamed then curled up into his arms. She lay comfortably on his rigid chest. He wrapped his hands around her.

"How did it go?"

He chuckled sarcastically "It was a complete disaster. For a second I thought they were going beat me up. I came up with half a solution."

"I'm sorry. I was waiting for you and I feel asleep."

She looked so adorable he could barely contain himself "You didn't have to. The banquet was too long."

"Are there always banquets?"

He rested his chin on her head "Not just banquets; we also have balls, a lot of dinner parties, barbeques and so on."

Sakura yawned "Balls, like in fairytales."

He looked up "Almost. They are not as luxurious as they sound." He looked back at her. Her eyes were closed.

He could not help but watch her sleep. The warmth of her body against his; the movement of her body that went along with every breath she took made him realize how lucky he was. For a second, it still felt unreal.

He caressed her cheek then kissed it. He then reached for the lamp and turned it off.

…………………………

That morning Sakura took her camera and held it to his face as he slept. The minute he heard the clicking sound, he opened his eyes.

"Good morning." He said immediately smiling after that.

Sakura sat up with her legs crossed next to him. "I just thought it would be cool to have a picture of you sleeping."

He took the camera from her hands.

"Oh really…" He looked at the camera and gazed at her.

Sakura smirked "Come on, give it back. I'm the photographer." 

"You want it?" He teased with a saucy smirk.

As Sakura reached out for it he snatched it away and said lightly "You have to kiss me first." _(Please don't consider morning breath when you're reading this part)_

"Give me the camera then I'll kiss you." 

Syaoran chuckled "That's now how it works."

"I'm a little shy in front of the camera." She said coyly.

"You have no reason to be." He took a picture of her. "You're gorgeous." He said in a more serious and dramatic tone. 

Sakura moved closer to him and caught his lips. He slowly let the camera go as he responded with enthusiasm. Before they could take the soft kisses to the next level, there was an abrupt knock on the door.

Syaoran broke the kiss and sighed "I think that's breakfast."

"Like room service?"

He nodded disappointed. He was not too keen about answering the door. All he wanted was to be alone with her.

As he headed for the door, Sakura walked to the balcony and looked outside. It was the most beautiful place she had ever seen. The garden was vast. There was a swimming pool, a tennis court and a basketball court.

Syaoran placed the tray on a table and followed her to the balcony. He stood next to her looking more disappointed than he did earlier.

"This place is amazing." She said before noticing the thwarted look on his face. "What's the matter?"

"I have to leave town. I'll be gone the whole day." He said sadly looking at her.

"Oh." Was all she could say. She wanted him to fix _the problem _but she also wanted him to be with her.

"I wish I didn't have to go. I want to be with you. I promise, once this thing is done with, we'll have all the time in the world." 

Sakura leered "Okay. What time are you leaving?"

"In an hour." He half turned and looked at the tray on the table. "We can still have breakfast together." He held her hand and she nodded still smiling.

When he was ready to leave, they walked down stairs to the lounge where they found his mother sitting comfortably on a wing chair with a book in her hands. Her hair was loose and tumbled vividly down her shoulders. She sat with her legs crossed and her hands placed neatly on her lap.

She looked up then immediately back at the book.

Sakura could not help but still feel embarrassed about the incident that happened the previous day. Syaoran's mother produced fear within her. 

"Good morning mother." Syaoran said in an uncertain tone. He had so many questions to ask her and he was dieing to confront her but the time did not feel right.

"Good morning, uh...Madam." Sakura said immediately after him.

Yelan narrowed her eyes to Syaoran then to Sakura.

_He has her eyes_. Sakura thought.

"Good morning." 

"I'll be gone the whole day. Please make sure that Sakura feels at home." Syaoran looked at Sakura.

She simply nodded and once again acted like Sakura was not there.

"I mean it mother." He said in a stern tone. He looked at the time. "I'll be late. I've got to get going."

Sakura escorted him to the door where they hugged and kissed.

He saw the nervous look on her face. It told him _'please don't leave me with her_.' He pulled her closer and whispered.

"Don't worry; she's not as scary as she appears. She won't like you if she knows that you are afraid of her."

"She already doesn't like me."

"She's just." Syaoran's eyes wandered for a second as he looked for the right word "Embarrassed and…overly judgmental."

He gave her a quick peck on the cheek then left.

………………………………

Sakura strolled into the lounge. She sat on a sofa not too far from where Yelan was. She crossed her legs and nervously looked around. After that she cleared her throat.

"You have a very lovely home." 

Yelan was quiet.

"The artwork is magnificent." Sakura swallowed hard.

She did not move an inch.

"I'd like to look around, if you don't mind." Now Sakura felt stupid. She decided not to say anything at all.

Yelan closed her book. Placed it on a nearby table then looked at Sakura.

"What are you doing here?" She said coolly.

Sakura's head shot up and she fished for the right words. "I want to be with your son."

"Do you intend to marry him?"

Sakura bit her lower lip "Eventually, one day….yes. We only got together yesterday."

"Children?"

Sakura nodded as beads of sweat tumbled down her forehead. The thought was overwhelming.

"How many?" 

Sakura shrugged "We haven't discussed that yet."

"How many?" she repeated in a strict tone.

"Two?" Sakura said nervously.

She glared at Sakura who was literally sinking in her chair.

"Three."

She frowned.

"Five?"

She nodded agreeably.

"And where are you going to live?"

Sakura smiled "In Japan of course."

Yelan frowned again.

Sakura's eyes widened as she pretended to clear her throat "Right here in Hong Kong, I mean."

She smirked "In this mansion I presume." It sounded more like demand than a question.

Sakura nodded. She felt like a coward. What she wanted and what Yelan wanted were two different things. She didn't want to live there. It was lovely but she was a simple girl. The mansion was more like a hotel than a home. It was unfair that she was already pressuring her on subjects she never discussed with Syaoran. They just got together, it was too early.

"I remember you very well. How can I forget you? You might look different but those eyes. I'm sure everyone who meets you never forgets your eyes."

Sakura slightly smiled. It was true. Her eyes became a trademark.

"When I saw you yesterday, I nearly had a heart attack." She said impolitely.

"About that; I'm sorry. We didn't know you were home."

She had a plain look on her face "You and my son are young and I guess you do what you have to do."

She spoke in such a manner that Sakura felt like she did something wrong.

"You know; I already picked out a wife for my son. Long before he met you."

Sakura's smile slowly faded.

"I think you should take a second and ask yourself what it is you're doing here." She spoke like it was nothing; like they were having a friendly conversation.

Sakura looked attentively at her.

"He's one of China's most popular businessmen. He lives a very demanding life. Where do you fit in Sakura? Everything about my son is of high class. I don't know why he decided to go for someone like you."

Sakura did no move.

"You would not understand our culture and his way of life. This is his home. He's been in Japan for so long that you probably forget where he comes from; he also forgets where he comes from. I don't want to point finger but I think you know the person responsible for that."

Sakura's jaw dropped.

She looked at Sakura and smirked "You are dismissed."

Sakura stood up and walked out.

………………………………

Sakura threw herself on the bed. _"What if she's right? This is nothing I thought it would be."_ Before she could break into tears, she remembered Syaoran. What his mother said did not matter. They loved each other and if they were as strong as she believed they were, they would overcome this, together.

At lunch time, Sakura sat only a few inches from her. Yelan did not say anything until the first dish was served. She took out a set of chopsticks and right before she touched her food she looked as Sakura.

"Can you please pass the sauce?"

Sakura plastered a delightful smile. "sure." She passed the sauce.

"Syaoran loves nothing more than a home cooked meal." She pointed in a rather vulgar manner.

"I'm a great cook. Syao loves my cooking." She said with a fake smile still on her face.

"Well, a wife can only wish to be as good as her husbands' mother."

Sakura clenched her teeth "Really; it's a good thing we are just dating right now and not married or else I would feel intimidated or pressure by your statement."

She smiled "That's nice."

Before desert was served she wiped invisible crumbs off her mouth with a napkin and looked at Sakura again.

"Syaoran just loves art. You see that painting behind you…"

Sakura turned around to look at it "Yes."

"He fell in love with it. He won it at an auction."

"I didn't know he liked art. I guess he got into it when we were separated."

She shook her head "No. He's loved art since he was a little boy."

"Oh."

"He loves martial arts, he's very athletic and as a child he was always so shy." She said cheerfully. "He's humble and always calm. Do you know that?"

Sakura's eyebrows rose "Yes I do. I know a lot about him. I've known him most of my life."

She made a face "Does he like his coffee with or without milk."

Sakura smiled "That's easy. He loves his milk."

She grinned "My son has always loved his coffee black."

"The Syaoran I know likes his coffee with milk!" Sakura shot back.

"The Syaoran you know and the one I know are two different people."

"This is ridiculous." Sakura rolled her eyes. "I'm not hungry anymore." She said standing up. She left the table and walked out of the dining area.

Her argument with Yelan didn't go unnoticed. She caught the maids talking about it. She took a deep breath and walked past them.

In the afternoon she strolled in the garden and took a couple of pictures. Things were alright again. As long as she didn't bump into Yelan, she was going to be just fine. When she was in the garden near the fountain she received a phone call from Syaoran.

"I miss you." Was the first thing he said.

"Me too; I can't wait to see you again."

"How are you and my mother getting along?"

Sakura paused. She couldn't tell him that she thought his mother was _evil and unfair_.

"We're fine." She said happily.

"Really?" he asked doubtfully.

"Yes. In fact we just spoke at lunch. We talked about you-so do you like your coffee with or without milk."

"What?" Syaoran was stunned at the popup of such a silly question.

"Milk or no milk."

"Milk."

"Ha! I knew it!" Sakura yelled.

Syaoran chuckled "O…kay. I have to go. See you tonight."

"Bye."

………………………….

She walked into her room to grab a blanket so that she could rest on the grass. She noticed a white envelope on the bed.

"This wasn't here before." She sat on the bed and held it in her hands. She opened the envelope.

A wave of hurt and deception nearly choked her. Tears filled her eyes as she took a deep breath. In her hands was a plane ticket to Japan. It had her name on it. She looked at it meaningfully. She took another deep breath and marched out of the room.

She barged into Yelan's office slamming the door angrily behind her. Yelan sat behind her desk talking on the phone.

"What the heck is this about!" she yelled.

Yelan put the phone down. "That is your ticket back to where ever it is you come from."

Sakura's mouth opened "Well too bad; I'm not going anywhere!" She too ripped the ticket into tiny pieces.

"You have some nerve thinking I am going to accept it. You will never be part of this family." She growled angrily.

"I don't need **you **to accept it. Why do you do this to me? The only thing I've done is love your son. If that's a bad thing then so be it."

"Is that how you see it?"

"He's good to me. If I didn't love him I wouldn't be here! You separated us last time. I won't let you do that again. Do you really think I would just leave?"

She was quiet.

"Why did intervene and separate us? You made me believe he never loved me."

"You really want to know!" she paused for awhile "I was protecting him, the company and this family."

"How is keeping him from the people he loves protecting him."

She took a deep breath and said softly "I was afraid. I knew my husband was dying. I don't think Syaoran would have taken his position with you in the picture. I know he loves you but…this is his destiny. Being China and taking care of his family is what he was meant to do."

"I would have come with him. I would do anything to fit into his life here. I'll learn to cook Chinese food…I'll stay even if I only get to see him once a week. I just want to be with him." She spoke with so much passion, that Yelan was astonished.

Yelan looked at Sakura whose eyes were now teary.

"Just let us be. I know I did not go after him the first time you pushed me away; that was the biggest mistake I've ever made and I will never leave him again."

"When he left for Japan, he did not tell anyone where he was going or when he was coming back. He just disappeared. I think he knew that I would try to stop him from leaving. He's been so miserable the last couple of years. I never wanted to accept it but all he wanted was you. I thought he would eventually get over you and move on but he never did."

She walked to a book shelf. Sakura's eyes followed her as she took out a small wooden box.

"What's this?"

She opened it. The only thing that was in it was an envelope. On it was her name.

"Is this another plane ticket." Sakura said in a mellow tone.

"This is the letter he wrote you. The one I was supposed to give to you."

She handed it to Sakura. She had a content look on her face. As Sakura took it from her hands she shot her a nervous smile.

"Why are you giving it to me now?"

Yelan sighed "It feels like it's the right time. I've destroyed every other letter he tried to send to you or you sent to him. This is the only one left. I don't know why I kept it."

Sakura smirked.

"I'll leave you two alone, under one condition."

Sakura looked at her eagerly.

"You raise the children here."

Sakura smiled "Yes, in Hong Kong just not in this mansion."

Yelan nodded.

………………………………

In the garden, Sakura sat under a weeping willow. She held her breath then slowly released it. She opened the envelope and unfolded the letter. It read…

_Dear Sakura,_

_When you get this letter I won't be by your side. I'm sorry I never said goodbye. Everything happened so sudden. My father is very sick and needs me by his side. I don't know when I'll see you again but I already miss you as it is. I love you Sakura and don't you ever forget it. I know once this passes we will be able to finish from where we left off. I'll always be thinking about you. I promise I'll come back. Just promise you'll wait for me._

_Love_

_Syaoran_

Sakura read the letter five times before she was through. She held it to chest. It felt like something had been lifted off her shoulders. All the questions had been answered. The only thing left to do was to forgive Yelan and for her, that wasn't going to be a problem.

"What's that?" Syaoran said suddenly sitting next to her.

Sakura quickly turned around. "You're here? How come?"

"I did it; I solved the problem. I would have told you on the phone but I wanted to surprise you."

Sakura threw he arms around his neck. He fell over and landed on his back.

"I knew you could do it."

She released him. "Look what your mother gave me."

Syaoran's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "The letter…that's the letter I wrote to you the night I left."

"I understand now. You never stopped loving me." Her eyes brightened.

He looked into her eyes "And I never will."

The End

**A/N- **

**Thanks again to everyone who reviewed this fan fiction. Reviews for this one plz -.**


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